Trouble reading signs from an ex
Hi all,
I am having some trouble reading the signs I am getting from an ex.. not sure if I should post this here or in the breakup forum as it sits somewhere in the middle but here goes...
Trying to keep this short so i hope i don't miss relevant stuff, you can skip the part in quotes but the question will make more sense with it!
Quote:
Very long story short, she went outside for a cigarette and her overtired 2 year old was punching me, he knows he isn't allowed to do that but instead of stopping when i told him off he got a good swing and hit me just under the eye, he was behind me when he did that, i raised my voice to him and turned, he jumped out at the same time got an accidental elbow in the ribs.
To put this in context he was crying at the drop of a hat that night, being overtired. The knock was not hard enough to hurt him. He was literally just crying from a combo of getting a small bump and being told off.
Anyway, she heard me raise my voice to him and him crying and came in to see what had happened. She was not angry and even said at the time "don't worry about it, that's not a hurt cry".
Next day she stopped talking to me, i picked up on something being wrong immediately and pushed her to talk about it, even got a bit angry with her when she kept up the silent treatment, as it turns out (found out later) she wanted space but didn't even tell me that.
From there she left and I did what everyone does to some degree and lashed out somewhat, she kept the silent theme going.
Within a day or 2 of that she sent an angry reply to a message saying that I had hit her son in a rage etc. A week or so later, still getting the silent treatment, i sent a couple of messages ending up saying "ok i understand you don't want to talk but do you really think i hit [him]", she replied saying yes and ended with "..now polity f*** off", so still very angry.
To be honest and because its relevant I said and did some stupid things (who hasn't after getting dumped), pushing her when she needed space was the only one before she left but I damaged any chance i had of her wanting to talk about it.
So about a month after the break up and about 2 weeks after our last contact she drove past my place with a couple of friends, she has no reason to do that, my street is a back street that is hard to get to and cant possibly be a short cut anywhere because of the street layout so it was defiantly intentional. She also yelled out to me (i was walking home at the time).
I was walking back from sending her a proper apology (hand written letter), having cooled off and regretting some of my actions. A week later (she should almost defiantly have received the letter) she rang.
The call was initially about the paperwork from the course we had been studying. Of coarse if she wanted to avoid me she could have called any other classmate or the lecturer, plus the conversation went onto who was in the car with her, what we had been up to etc. it was short and didn't go anywhere near relationship or past but was more than a call about the paperwork.
A couple of weeks later I called with new info about that paperwork, she seemed reluctant to talk and when i told her my reason for calling she said 'if its quick' so we had a short convo only about that, she seemed genuinely grateful when she thanked me for letting her know and did ask for clarification at a couple of points but aside from that she just kept the tone of voice that indicated she didn't want to be talking (though she was genuinely busy, i could hear the background noise).
The next day i followed up with an sms because i had forgotten to mention i had a summery of what she needed that i had picked up and no longer needed and told her she could have it. I got no reply.
So as i see it, you don't swing by with a couple of friends to see what your ex is doing if you genuinely think he hit your 2 yr old boy and you wouldn't call to see how he is doing and what he has been up to... especially when the son's father tried to run off with him as a baby and dragged you through 2 years of custody hearings.
I took those two as positive signs but then when i called her she didn't want to talk and didn't reply to the sms.
So the advice i am really looking for is do i move this post to the break up forum (so to speak) or is there enough here to keep trying to rebuild this (which is what i would like to do).
Thanks for any advice and thanks for taking the time to read all that!
