Some Things I Don't Understand About A Girl I Know & Like
Hi everyone, I'm new here and I hope that in this forum one of you ladies could help me out here. I think I'll be typing a lot, there are details that I wish to reveal to make it clear for you all as much as possible. I would appreciate any of you to read this out and give in your insight and advice.
I (24 year old guy) have been seeing this girl (23 year old girl) since last May, everything started great when we met at her friend's birthday party, we exchanged numbers and she even asked for my facebook, so we exchanged that also. I asked her out and I made the first move and kissed her on our first date she reacted in a positive way and we ended up making out after a great night. We began to go out more with each other and later, unfortunately, I lost my job and during that time (a few weeks after I met her), so she asked me to come by her house and I was there almost every everyday.
During this time I started to get to know here a bit more, we had sex almost every time and everything was good. One day I found out that she has had some tough times with her ex in 2009, who she says was nice at first, but later has shown that he was insecure and he would try to hit her. There is a hole on one of the walls of her apartment as proof of that. They eventually broke up and she kicked him outta her apartment. Later on, she dated someone else during the end of 2009, but she found him checking on her phone and he would not really trust her for nothing, very jealous guy. She got turned off by this and they broke up around last march, so that meant that she single for two months before i met her.
One thing that kinda bugged me a bit, but didn't take it too personal, but I almost forgot to mention that on the weekends, she would go out on one of her father's bbq or a friend's bbq and she didn't invite me to none of them, she brought it up during one of those days and told me that please don't be mad because she hasn't invited me to anything at all, she told me that she is just a bit weird.
One day after we had sex during the day, she all of a sudden asked me what is it that I want between us, I told her that it be great if we could start a relationship, she was not into the idea and confessed to me that she isn't ready to go into a relationship now, she also told me that she feels that she needs to find herself because she felt lost. I stood silent and I then told her there is no need to rush anyway and that we could just take things slowly and get to know each other more and in time we could be officially together. Now after that, days later I started to see her stressed out, she would be complaining about her job and she would be a bit pissed and she wasn't being nice at times, sometimes I felt that she took out her stress on me, but she did apologize and we would talk about it and I would try to make her feel better by giving her some encouragement.
A few more days and I'm starting to see her even more stressed, about her job and now about her life. She told me that she would just love to go away and move somewhere else where no one would bother her. Now I'm june, one night, she told me that he best friend from college is going to move into her apartment in July, its small, but good for two people to stay in. The reason why is because she is looking to find a job over here in New York cause in California she couldn't find a job in her field. At this point, I had a feeling that once her friend would move in, that I would rarely see her and things weren't going to go well between me and the girl I'm seeing.
A week before her friend comes, Monday, I helped her clean up her apartment (because I'm such a nice guy). Now a day before her friend came, I got a call from her crying on the phone, I asked whats wrong and she told me that she is so stressed out and that she hasn't gotten payed yet and still needs a lot done to clean the apartment. I immediately left my house and went over to her to be with her, I found her cleaning the last bit of her apartment, looking a bit mad, its amazing that she had the whole place so clean as she doesn't really clean up often.
I helped her out with anything else she needed, I even folded some of her clothes in order. After a few hours, we were done, it was already 5am and she needed to sleep a bit before getting up again to go to work. She (by surprise) left me her keys and asked me if I could stay because she needed to go to work and her friend was coming over in a few minutes. Obviously I agreed and I stayed and met her friend for the first time, I took her bags to the apartment and took her out for breakfast since she was hungry, we spent some time having a conversation and we walked for awhile, I even took her near my girl's job so they could see each other and then we left. After awhile I had to go, so I left the keys with her friend.
After about a few days later, on a sunday, I get a call from my girl and she asked if I could come out because she was in my area. I went and met up with both of the girls and we had a good time, I took them out to eat (regardless that they wanted to pay, but I snuck in the money) , we later went to the movies and later we split up and gave the last kiss I've had to my girl.
Now let me note to you, that this was in mid july, it has been over a month and a week, and I have NOT seen the girl I been talkin to since that sunday. At this point, I noticed that she didn't text me as much, nor didn't call me as much. Now I understand that she is spending time with her friend as much as possible, but I would think she would give me some time for us also. One time I would ask her to go out on the weekend, but she told me she had plans with her friend to go out, no invites, no nothing. Now I understand that the girls need to have their night out, but I felt like she just put me aside now. We agreed that sunday would be good, but it never happend because I called her around 12pm, no answer... She called me abck around 4pm and told me that she and her friends had a crazy night partying on saturday and was very tired, obviously I knew we weren't going to meet up and I got very mad, this is when I started to not speak to her as much.
It started to go bad, I didn't understand why it was such a struggle to meet up, its been two weeks and I still haven't seen her. On another day, she texted me asking me, "what is happening to us?". I told her, " I would like you to answer that question, because as far as I go, I'm ok, but you... something is up with you.", she didn't know what to say and this is where we started to talk in txt by the way) about what is going on between us, she told me that she likes me, cares about me, but does not want to get into a relationship, but wants me in her life and still wants to talk to me. She also said that she just wants to do her thing and truly one day love herself before going into a relationship again, I am conscious that she told me this before.
She also mentioned that she is afraid that if we spent to much time together that I would think we ARE in a relationship, I told her that she is wrong and explained that I wanted to take things slow and not rush into a relationship. She even told me that she felt that she was leading me on, at this point I felt that she was not really interested in me regardless that I told her to tell me the truth, don't sugarcoat anything, she still kept saying that she hasn't stopped liking me, doesn't like anyone else and she hasn't been with anyone else but me. She also told me that she misses hanging out with me, I told her, "If I were you saying that, I would make time to see you"... and she agreed.
Things went really bad, I was close to just not talk nor see her at all, but she urged me that we meet each other in person to talk about this, I said when, and she said "soon". last week, We tried for Sunday and it didn't happen, she calls me late in the evening and told me that she had to go see her grandmother whom is sick and was worried about her. I couldn't be a complete ass about it, its her grandmother, she loves her.
So last week we txted a bit more and the last txt was last Tuesday, we talked about meeting up to have that talk between us, no date set though. This is the first time that she hasn't spoken to me in a week. The last thing I known about her was yesterday she posted on facebook that she is excited on a trip that she booked.
Ok.... Now that I've come clear the best I can of what has happened since the beginning, what is your take on the girl I'm seeing? I still want to have a talk with her in person because there are some things I want to clarify, for example, I want to ask her at what point made her suddenly not hang out with me as much anymore. I just don't understand why she suddenly just puts me to the side, because that's how I feel she has done to me. In the short amount of time, for the first time in a long while, I have grown really interested in a girl and really like her, she knows this. I feel that in person I will find out for sure. Please, anyone... help me.
