How blunt do I have to be?

Printable View

23-08-10, 10:33 PM
accodata

How blunt do I have to be?

My friend, who is my ex-boyfriend's friend, has recently been affectionate to me. He kissed me, then I told him that I think he is cool but I only want to be friends. He said that's fine but when he was around me he'd put his arm around me, kissed me spontaneously, etc. One time he asked if I wanted to sleep with him and I said no. He has been inviting me out lately and I've been trying to avoid him by being a bit cold and defensive, in addition to saying I am busy, and tonight I told him again that I only want to be friends, to which he said that we don't have to be romantic, and then asked me if I was at a point where I don't want to be in a relationship, and I told him, again, that I only see him as a friend.

How can I make it anymore clear to him that I don't want him to be affectionate to me and that I don't want to be intimate with him and only see him as a friend!? Why is he doing this?? Should I cut him off completely?
23-08-10, 10:36 PM
doppelgaenger

You've made it as clear as possible and he crossed the friendship line when he asked you to sleep with him. You're just going to have to cut your ties and end the friendship because he's going to be persistent about getting into your pants.
23-08-10, 10:38 PM
accodata

Why is he so persistent? Do I come across as 'an easy girl' to him?
23-08-10, 10:50 PM
VincenzoG91

He isn't your friend anymore. He doesn't respect your intentions or opinions and is eventually going to try something stupid and blame it on alcohol. Just stop talking to him.
23-08-10, 10:53 PM
doppelgaenger

I don't know how you come across to him. It doesn't sound like you've set very clear boundaries because you let him kiss you and put his arm around you. If a girl let me do these things, I'd automatically assume she's interested, and if she turned down sex, I'd just assume it's bad timing. You made it most obvious that you don't want him when you said you're not interested and only see him as a friend. Next time he asks to hang out and you feel uncomfy about it because of his persistent behavior, be upfront instead of telling him your busy - tell him that his persistent attitude about all the sexual contact and relationships is very annoying and you're only interested in friendship. Tell him attraction is not a choice.

If he continues, he's just thinking with his dick and there's not much you can do but cut contact. Is it really worth all this? He's just one guy. You're putting too much effort to keep a friendship that really isnt worth much, in my opinion.
23-08-10, 11:18 PM
accodata

I had another talk with him, and he FINALLY understands that I'm not at all interested. He then says that he wants to be in a relationship and if I can 'hook him up' with someone. I expressed to him that I have a problem with him saying that, his nerve to ask me to 'hook him up' with someone after I turned him down. I asked him why he is so eager to have a girl around and why he feels unsatisfied with his life unless he has a girl around, and he said that he wants to have someone to care about and that he is a mess and doesn't have control over his words or actions and still wants to be friends. Cut him off?
24-08-10, 12:15 AM
sookie6

Quote:

Originally Posted by accodata [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

and he said that he wants to have someone to care about and that he is a mess and doesn't have control over his words or actions and still wants to be friends. Cut him off?

he wants someone to **** about which he has translated in girl friendly language ( to care about)...with time you'll get use to run automatic translations like that when meeting men like him...
24-08-10, 03:33 AM
doppelgaenger

I told you so. Cut contact.
24-08-10, 06:12 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by accodata [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My friend, who is my ex-boyfriend's friend, has recently been affectionate to me. He kissed me, then I told him that I think he is cool but I only want to be friends. He said that's fine but when he was around me he'd put his arm around me, kissed me spontaneously, etc. One time he asked if I wanted to sleep with him and I said no.

LOL, you are way too nice, offering to cut him off. If some guy said this^ to me I would have told him I was considering dating him until he opened his mouth and spewed this Pig comment. Then I would have enjoyed watching him jump hoops to try to get back in my good books for the next couple months.

I was an evil bitch in my dating days, tho. ;)