is this an emotional affair??

I started a new job about 6 months ago and hit it off a guy I work with very quickly. A week before we met he has proposed to his girlfriend of 4 years. Things were innocent enough between us. It felt like a friendship.

About two months ago I noticed the lingering stares. I'm not sure what changed between us but something had. in fact it seemed like one of those scenarios where everyone around you notices except for the two people involved. One night when were closing up work he gave me his phone number unexpectedly as well as offer to drive me home.

After feeling a certain tension between us I felt like I couldn't hold back from telling him that I had developed feelings for him. He responded with " I like you too." further comvo for a couple of hours with things like " i've had dreams about you, I feel drawn to you" from him left me feeling happy but obviously confused.

During this past month i have received alot of criticism from my coworkers because clearly they look at me as the person doing something wrong. A "home wrecker ." He rarely mentions his fiances and in context of speaking about her she is refereed to as his girlfriend. my coworkers don't know that 99% of this interaction is on his end. Text out of no where asking how my day is going etc.


I feel like its only getting 'worse' as time goes by. when we are with eachother at work we can't take our eyes off of eachother or stop talking. I feel like we somehow manage to always be in the same spot. Touching me in an innocent but not necessary way.

His fiance is the type of girl who checks phones/email/facebook to make sure her guy is being good ( ok touche i know ) She says things to him like " lose weight for the wedding" . That girl.

I brought up the obvious after biting my tongue fora while and said " you know this is hard for me because in the end i get nothing out of this and I can't help how i feel. " too which he responded " if i wasnt engaged things would be different."

what is his intention in all of this? The wedding isnt set until winter of 2011. i think i'll go crazy if this continues on like it is.

I don't know that it is an emotional affair. It could just be lust.

If all of your co-workers know what's going on, you two haven't been at ALL discreet, so I think his fiancee will be finding out all about this, so I think you should cut contact with him....

My coworkers were not being malicious persay more like ' do you two notice the way you look at eachother? '

I was thinking it was lust until the hours of talking happened. I would love to say to him would you be comfortable acting like this in front of her your fiancee?

Who cares what it is called? What is it you want from this guy? Do you want him to break off with his fiance for you, or what?

I'm a girl, and I'm sorry but I have to reply to this. This exact situation happened to me, except I was the girlfriend. I've never felt this hurt and betrayed when I found out my boyfriend was flirting/texting/emotionally cheating on me. Please, imagine what you and him are doing to his fiance. There are other great single guys out there. You don't need to be someone's other woman. Plus, there is no doubt she will find out.

Emotional affair? It's developing into one

If he did break up with his fiance for you then you'd just be the next link in his chain of fools.

(Yes I stole that from aretha)

If he did break up with his fiance for you then you'd just be the next link in his chain of fools.

(Yes I stole that from aretha)

Why do so many people post affairs on this site?

What the **** is wrong with people?

Seriously...

I would say get another job asap. At the very least don't respond to any of his texts or advances. Keep it professional from now on. Seems like the damage may have already been done though, so getting out of there seems like a good idea.