"Dont be yourself, it never worked in the past so why would it work now?" :S
Hey there,
I know my post title above seems strange but I have to get this off my chest as its been making me feel more n more shit about myself and what I've done.
In the past I was a loner, never had many gf's and or relationships. Then I started reading into all those PUA websites, and learned about what needs to be done in order to get a gf and get women basically.
It did work, and then i finally found a girl that i really liked and we fell in love. only problem was that she ended up falling in love with the image i was trying to portray (that i learned from these player websites), rather than the guy i guess i am at heart. After a 4-5 months into the relationship i started to revert back to the guy i used to be and that is were the problems started.
during all that time of learning how to seduce women, i never ever thought about how it would affect the girl and what happens after you 'get her'...i only learned this once i started being my old self and realised that what i did was basicaly project a false image of myself and this is all she ever knew of me.
after a year of a horrid relationship (not including the first 4-5 months which were amazing), she has finaly stopped talking to me, as of Sunday night. Yesterday was the first day since we've known each other that we havent contacted each other and it hurt so bad. I dont want to try and force myself onto her or force her to talk to me though cos i feel i deserve to be punished for what i have done. i basically lied to her and to myself so that she would fall in love with me and because of that i dont deserve her love - she deserves someone who will treat her like a Queen - the way i used to, and deserves to be happy...which with me i could only provide temporary bouts of happiness.
I hope in a way she doesnt try to get back with me as i will end up giving in and she deserves so much better...i guess im writing this to say sorry but also to say where do i go from here? am i destined to be alone? its like my thread title says; if being me hasnt worked in the past, why would it work now....
