Lack Lust-er relationship

Hi,
i'm not sure if this is the right place to post (its my first).
i wanted to get some advice.. PLEASE..

i've been with my girl friend for 8 years.
we currently live an hour away from each other (but have been this way for over (5-6 years now)
We mainly see each other only on the weekends.

The problem i'm having is that the sex life is dying. There just seems to be no interest from her at all anymore.
i on the other hand still want her just as bad as i did when we first met.
I tried things like involving toys, lingerie etc anything to spicy things up and nothing is changing.
She thinks its okay to not have sex, and proudly annouces "women don't need sex, we can go months and years without it"
I'm lost as to waht to do and getting more and more fustrated.

She's told me i need to be nice and a gentleman for her to be turned on?
i don't get why this was not a problem before, if i was not a gentlman for 8 years why was she sticking around.
But i listen and i try , and it's becoming a thing where i must be nice say all the right things and pet her and treat her like shes perfect and can never do wrong. She gets to yell at me and scream for the smallest thing (missing a parking spot) and i have to shut up and stay calm or else.. i'm not a gentleman and if i say anything i will hear later that its because i talked back or defended myself that shes not in the mood. I get treathen that if i'm not nice i won't get any....
The only time she will even try is if i take her away to a hotel, but i'm not rich and i hate to feel that i MUST
get her to a hotel and then i would have sex... it's okay for her . to me it cheapens the sex. i don't want to soudn like an ass but
its kinda like i feel i must have money and whisk of this escort girl to have sex at my hotel. It this is afantasy of hers i would do it no problem but it's not like that theres no "roleplay" its just .. a getaway and i get "paid" for it with sex... makes me feel used.?!?

what is with this what is going on?? even days when i swallow my pride and be her "good little boy" all day all i get at night is a "lets cuddle and hold hands.. goodnight"
i'm sick and tired of not being good enough, what the hell should i do here. i've told her how fustrating this is to me .. and all she tells me is that i dont care about her feelings (never giving an explanation) and how i pressure her too much .... i'm sorry but she USED to want it 5-6 times a night now barely 4 times a month and she see NO problem..

yes i have a big sex drive but i can't get her to get that 4 times is not anywhere near enough ad the same routine everytime is not exciting to me especially now that i know she probably forces herself to have sex with me... this i blowing a huge hole in my heart and i can't get her to love/lust me back as much as i do her..

ANY suggestions would be great.
i'm at the point wher i'm giving up. and sadly being this depressed, and after only being with one girl for 8 years..
i feel like if i leave there isn't anything i could offer another another girl.. fter all this one went from jumping all over me to pushing me away... did she figure out something about me that she doesn't like... will the next woman do the same.. I'm in the mental mood where i feel i must be fake and someone else to impress a woman and get her to sleep with me. i've lost the belief that a woman could desire and want me .. well .... for me.. =(

HELP