What does this mean? I am so scared! Help!

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03-09-10, 08:37 AM
Becky00

What does this mean? I am so scared! Help!

My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight today and he isn't responding to my texts.

I'll make it short:

-Currently we are long distance, all I asked for was more of his time so we can keep the lines of communication open since we don't see each other, what else do we have going for us?

-What gets me, is he'll call and text, but in the middle of our conversation he'll stop responding... there is a big time difference so granted he may have fallen asleep or whatever.. but he NEVER says so. The next day he acts like nothing happened and starts a new conversation.

But when I didn't respond for a hour one day, he got mad. :mad:

So after that I explained to him how I feel all he said was "I am sorry and I love you"because he had a family emergency with his little cousin being sick and having to drive the family cross country to get to another hospital for special medical treatment .. yeah right? ..this isn't the first time he lacked to respond but it's the first time he gave a reason.

-He responded like I was asking for all of his time 24/7. Thinking that I am needy he basically told me to "toughen up" "suck it up" :sad2: and be strong since the situation we are in isn't ideal.

-He said if I couldn't do that, and if I couldn't trust him 100% that we were done.

How can someone ask me to trust them 100%? This isn't my first time in a relationship. I've been made a fool of before. And trust, is just not something I hand out like candy. It has to be earned.

He also said how he doesn't always have time to respond to me, but I am like if you don't have 30 seconds for a text, why are we doing this? I told him, I needed that communication with him daily because I want this to work and if he does too he'll find the time to talk to me once a day. And I also said, if doesn't think he can or he won't then maybe it's not the time for us...((( that's when he stopped responding )))

I texted him telling him, I didn't want to fight and that I loved him.

Because I do, and all this seems so silly to me now.

So right now I feel angry that our relationship would end over such a little thing that can be fixed. But then again at the same time I don't want to be in a relationship when I have to beg for 30 seconds of their time.

What should I do now? What if does not want to respond to my texts because he thinks we are already over? :nerd:
03-09-10, 09:04 AM
WaiKru

:horror: Your post looks like an advertisement for something. Why so many colors?

Anyway, long distance relationships are tough as it is. He seems to be getting too comfortable with the idea that you'll always be there when HE feels like talking. You need to explain to him that you don't deserve this, and that if it doesn't change, you don't think it'll work. If he doesn't change then there are people out there who will treat you better.
03-09-10, 11:59 PM
mrszeus

I completely agree with WaiKru.

Your boyfriend seems to only look after himself, and doesn't pay too much attention to you or your needs. And that's not what you want. If he gets to fall asleep on you and not answer your calls or texts, it's OK; but you don't answer his calls right away, you get in trouble. Your relationship sounds like a perfect example of an unhealthy relationship. You deserve much better!

It makes it even harder because you guys are in a long-distance relationship, and those require even more work than the "regular" ones. Talk to him, be honest and truthful. Let him know how you feel and how his actions affect you. Tell him some things need to change in order for you to believe in your relationship. If he ignores you, or says he'll change but doesn't - move on. There are better guys out there who will put much more effort into fulfilling your needs.

Good luck!
04-09-10, 12:19 AM
lahnnabell

h

Quote:

Originally Posted by Becky00 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So after that I explained to him how I feel all he said was "I am sorry and I love you"because he had a family emergency with his little cousin being sick and having to drive the family cross country to get to another hospital for special medical treatment .. yeah right? ..this isn't the first time he lacked to respond but it's the first time he gave a reason.

So, he hung up on you? Or just stopped talking to you? This makes no sense. You can't talk to someone on the phone and deal with an emergency at the same time, unless you're on the line with 911.

Maybe you should stop being so passive aggressive when you get upset. Instead of talking about your feelings first, you decided to ignore him. And for the love of God, stop resizing and coloring your text. It makes your post entirely unreadable and annoying.
04-09-10, 12:35 AM
kitkitkitty

if you spent as much time talking to your bf about whats annoying you as you do making things green, i don't think you'd have as many problems. you can't have trust in a relationship without communication.