how to find out if boyfriend wants to commit?

hey, sorry to be a pain (this is gonna be a really long post), but i just wanted some unbiased thoughts on my relationship with my boyfriend. i don't necessarily want commitments (like us moving in together) right now, but i'd like to know that he wants the same things that i do, and that when we're both ready/able, the commitments will come.

instead of rambling, i'm just gonna put everything in dotpoints and then ask you questions.

-we have been together 2 years (we're young, i'm 19 he's 20)
-we fell in love very quickly, but since it was so quick we didn't get properly comfortable with each other until about a year ago. since then, our relationship has been fantastic
-he has a best friend that he has always planned on moving in with. i've always gone along with this, just because i don't want to push him in any way.
-i've said many times that the idea of settling down right now scares me (which is true)
-he knows that i want to go travelling, but is going at the end of next year with his two best friends for 3 months (just says he 'feels bad' about leaving me- not that i've let him see that i'm upset)
-i think that by the time we're both ready to move out (realistically 24-25), we will have been together for 6-7 years, i'd want to move out together
-i thought that or relationship would be important enough for him to rethink his plans to a certain extent, like me coming travelling with him or moving in with him and his best friend.

my question is, how do i ask him where he sees us ending up, in a non-threatening manner? i want to know if the idea of being with me for long enough to commit scares him or not. i know he loves me, a lot. please help!
thanks guys xxx

Hi,

Ask him about his future plans. be straightforward, dont make things dramatic, boys hate drama, and we love it :D


Regards,
sarah_9


calloptionputoption

i suppose you're right =]
actually, i kind of know that he's not totally opposed to the thought of commitments, just thinks we're a bit young i guess.
talking is def the way to go, just have to get over this fear lol. thanks sarah =] xx

Enjoy your relationship for now, but don't expect it to last. You're both young, and life is going to pull you in different directions. If you give up your freedom now, you will both regret it later.

You are making plans way too far in advance right now. I guarantee you that if you go to him with this 6-7 year plan, he's gonna freak. You have no idea what's going to happen in the next year, so I would scale down the mutual goals and focus on YOUR goals. Besides mutual goals are to be decided on between BOTH partners in a relationship. You can't make a list of criteria and just hope he hops on board.

You're both not even 21 yet. A whole other world opens up to you after that.

The best lesson you will learn is how to be self-sufficient. You can't plan your life around someone else's plans. I learned this one the hard way and got burned pretty badly in the mean time.