hurting so much

This is my predicament about three and a half years ago i met a wonderful woman we got on really well but the timing was wrong so we just stayed friends and i started a relationship with someone else but we started to meet up when i was in the area where she lived had wonderful nights together under the guise of working away, eventually we were missing each other so much i decided to end the relationship i was in which wasn’t really going anywhere as my feelings were so strong for this woman, that was 2 years ago for one and a half years we were inseparable I lived just 10 miles down the road and she would come over all the time. She had 2 kids who are 17 and 21 we all got on great. We decided that we would move in together 6 months ago i was truly in love and so was she everybody got on with everybody it felt fantastic.
I’m not saying we have not had our ups and downs in the 2 years as everyone does but 6 months down the line she told me that she doesn’t want a relationship anymore and has asked me to move out I am destroyed but her word is final, I love her so much we are still living together with her kids till I move out in 3 weeks it’s been 6 weeks since she told me to go
The reasons are she isn’t ready for a relationship she has become so cold and just wants her kids around her, I get upset but she just tells me to get over it and move on.. I can’t believe for how close we were that this could happen. I don’t know how to feel or what to feel I just go to work then come home and sit upstairs on the bed absolutely distraught. She just doesn’t seem to care and is heavily into planning her sons secret 18th birthday party inviting all her friends some I never even got to meet .. I have always been there for her she has been through alot in the last 3 years and i stuck by her but now i feel used and hurt

I can feel with all of you who have a broken heart.

.. here is my stroy.. I want to share it with you.. It might help me to forget about him:

Have you guy ever invited some stranger over to your place? Yes?

I met an Indian guy from Australia via Postcrossing. He seemed like my soul mate but more intelligent and open-minded than I am and ever will be. You call me crazy? Maybe I am.

He came over to my place last week because he started to study in a town near mine for the winter semester.

I planned a perfect week for us both in order to get to know each other a bit more.

We talked a lot .. BLA BLA.. laughed a lot..

But nevertheless we started to get to close and crossing lines of privacy. You call me stupid? You may do.

And then I fell in love. Just like that. It took a week to give a heart away. And a second to break it. I am just looking at that grotesque situation of ours I realise how blinded I have been.

Long enough we told ourselves that we will be friends, live the present and enjoy every moment of life as it is. Not depending on objects or people. I was so captivated by his thoughts that I totally forgot about my intentions. I needed emotions and feelings from him. I admired him as a little brown god who would protect me from the cruelty in the world.

I let myself be deceived. As he does not care about object and people, he never cared about me. You call me insane for ever believing that he could actually love me? You have the damn right to do so.

It hurts a lot but finally I realise that I am better off by myself because no guy would be ever the way I am. Men and women are too different to be soul mates.

I still taste my tears on my lips … believing that I might be wrong. But deep in myself I already know that it would never work out with us or with any other guy on this planet.

In fact, I am all of that … crazy, stupid and insane. Not to forget, I am totally naïve.

Pranam... this was his last word... a old and respectful way of saying namaste.

just to forget about him,you will meet a better guy