breaking up with someone you love because u feel ur not good enough
this is the situation basically. i love this girl so much and she loves me too. her previous boyfriends have been assholes and dumped her. i tried to break up with her a couple of months ago, ( i will explain why). So that night i broke up with her and left at 11pm from her house. I told her that it was because i didnt want to get hurt because i love her so much and wanted to avoid the pain then because later it would hurt much more. part of it is true, but in reality it is because of my insecurities. I cant stand it. So she left mad saying she doesnt want to speak to me ever again. I left, telling her that i someday would come back for her, until i was ready but that she shouldnt wait for me because its not fair to her.And i really meant this.2am she calls my phone and asks if i can come outside, and i do. she said all she wants to do is hug me, n i did as well. so we hugged and we shared how unbearable those 3hours of just possiblity of being broken up was. she told me that she wants to be a part of my life despite my struggles. im 19, shes 22, just had to throw that out there. it proved to me that i really should pick my balls up and just take a risk. Truth is i m a proud guy, but am the most insecure piece of shit. i feel flawed from the face, i want to fix this and then get back with her.id feel much more confident. but to save up for this, it may take a couple of years. through out this time i want to send her gifts once in a blue moon to show her that i will always love her and that it was not a lie, as to why i left her. if i come back in search for her when i am ready can i reignite the flame regardelss if she has met someone else by then??? Give me support, its killing me inside.
