Why do I feel so weird about this whole thing, am I stupid?
Background: Met this chick at a party a while back. Everything went cool I got her number. Blah blah usual stuff. So we end up texting non stop, all that cute stuff, from the moment we wake up, and until we fall asleep on each other every night. From what it seems all she wants is a hook up....but I'm a relationship kind of guy. She flirts with a million different guys non stop, and I got clingy. We hung out one night me her and my friend (who was also at that party that night) me and her end up holding hands. And then her and my friend start flirting....so I backed away. As soon as I left she sends me a text message trying to be cute. And I wouldn't do it back cause I was too hurt or whatever. We end up getting into a fight that night, and our friendship ended there. After that she started adding ALL of my close friends and talking to them non stop.....which pissed me off even more, I just ignored it, and went on with my day. A month or so later she tries texting me with attempts to be friends again. I decided to try to be the mature one and just ignore it....which I did. Another month or so goes by, and she sends me another text once again trying to be friends again (I found out later on that she drunk texted me that...). At this point I just feel like a dick for ignoring the first one, so I accept and we talk and stuff, and kinda catch up. Then she tells me that she misses "how we were" and that she feels bad about how everything fell apart. And how she wanted more than just a hook up with me apparently and all this other stuff. I guess I was kinda happy, but still defensive at the same time. Well about a month went by of us talking every night again. She stopped obnoxiously talking to the majority of my friends. We started getting cute again and blah blah blah. So eventually we decided that we should hang out again, so we made plans and blah blah blah I brought my friend she brought hers. We ended up being really cute that night, lots of flirting and all that good stuff. But I was kinda self conscious that night and not really all that confident cause she flirts with all these other guys at the same time that she tries to tell me that I'm like important to her and blah blah blah. And a lot of these guys are a lot better looking than me and all of this other stuff (not that I'm ugly, I know I'm not, but that's just how I feel on he subject). So I end up being weird while texting her after that night. She calls me out on it, and I basically explained to her how I felt like she wasn't gonna like me or something after hanging out with her, and how I didn't wanna be all cute or whatever, just to have her not like me, and then me make a fool of myself. And she freaked a little, but ended up being cool with it I guess and told me that I shouldn't have to feel self conscious about her. So we were good, a couple days later we went to the movies she brought the same friend again and I brought my same friend again, along with my best friend. And we all went to see a movie, me and her ended up hooking up. I was so happy that night, I couldn't even being to explain the joy that I felt. So now it's the day after.
Present: Basically I thought today was going good, I was texting her all day so far. Then out of no where she texts me like "why does everything get weird between us every time after we hang out, I don't get it" and I just couldn't figure out what I did wrong, and I guess I apologized or whatever, but she wouldn't tell me why she freaked on me. After that I started feeling weird, I went on her facebook, and she's just having all of these different conversations with all of these other guys and it's all "<3 this <3 that" it makes me sick almost. I just want me and her to be good...we have plans to chill thursday. Might be alone, might be with friends, not really sure yet, I just feel weird with the thought of it just being me and her, I won't know what to say or do, and I'd just **** things up more than I already have. I just don't know what to do. I'm messing this whole thing up for myself...
My History: My ex girlfriend basically cheated on me with numerous people including my best friend and others, and lied to my face about everything. She flirted with a million guys and I just felt like a complete idiot afterwords. I guess that kind of explains to me while I'm so self conscious about everything.
What can I do to make this work between me and her, cause she's obviously interested and so am I, but I keep messing everything up....I don't even know what to do. I'm not the kind of kid who just gets with a new girl every week, everything that happens between me and a girl is special to me at least. I just don't want to see me and her go down the drain. Even my friends come up to me and be like you guys look perfect together, and I just feel like she's right for me, cause when it's good it's great, it's just awful when it's bad....she just seems so free, and I feel so dull and boring.....advice please...
