couples therapy

Alright...I have a question for those of you that responded to my previous post and therefore know what is going on with me...

I have been trying to be really strong after I broke up with him, but it's been so hard... mostly because he keeps calling and calling and telling me how sorry he is and how much he misses me and everything. He's now saying that he wants me to go to relationship counseling with him. I'm very tempted to tell him yes since I know this is a sign he's really trying... and I miss him like crazy. I mean, we had obvious problems but they were few and far between. If we could get rid of those things it would perfect. But I don't want to get my hopes all up that things will be great and that he will change when, most likely, he can't.

Do you think I should give the therapy thing a shot?


Again... thanks so much everyone for all your help. ;)

From reading the thread you posted about being in an abusive relationship, I say you need to stay strong and stay away. If a guy is that controlling and insecure it is unlikely to change. Your relationship doesn't need therapy, he does.

sephora,
You know that this is going to be one of the most difficult steps you have made in your life, you must let him go! Do this for you. I was once was in a relationship much like yours, and belive me there is no point waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off! Run like hell girl cuz if you think that he is screaming therapy to really get help then he woud be off doing it by himself just like you need to get way from him now! Screaming and crying therapy is a manipulative maneuver to get you back to regin control of the situation. Please see this. You know that he was going to do and say anything now that you have stood on your own two feet. How do you really feel? Look inside yourself and tell me what you see for you? What does your gut tell you? Be honest with yourself. Love is not pushing, hitting, talking down to you, controlling no it is not these things do not be elude dont close your eyes to what is so clear. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! Do you really want to be some bullys punching bag weather phisically mentally or emotionally?.

i agree with blue and kronos.... just let this guy go. do you know that over 95% of abusive people fall back into their abusive ways after even 5 years of therapy. you deserve so much better than this. just stay strong and find someone who is going to treat you right from the start, not after he realizes it's too late!

The older people get, the less they change...

As someone who can see things a little more from your side, Sephora, if you want to, go with him to counseling. You never know how it could help. I am thinking of doing the same thing. Let me know how it goes if you go. i htink it is good that it was hid idea. It was my bf's too. Thats a good sign. Good luck!!!

sephora. do you still have access to your original post? it would help to see that. could you repost it or copy it to a reply to this post?

thanks.

I dunno about you all, but if my girlfriend just went and broke up with me unexpectedly because of certain aspects, I'd feel bad and want her back. Perhaps if I said certain things that made her think those aren't the traits I still keep, or if I suggest a way to change those things to her, maybe she'll come back to me... (/sarcasm off)
If I recall from your original thread, it wasn't a good relationship, of course there were good times, but it's the bad times when you see people show themselves. Therapy does help I'm sure, but I'd just be weary.
Before you met this person, you had an idea of what kinda of relationship you wanted... Just keep that in mind, never compromise, never give up, never surrender! (In the ever poplular Galaxy Quest voice)
I hope you find your answers to whichever route you take :)