My EX left me for new man

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14-09-10, 10:37 PM
BrokenArrow

My EX left me for new man

I have been with my ex for almost 5 months. At first she didnt show me that she love me but eventually her wall came down and she told me she is now in love with me. I was her first love taking her virginity. I love her very much. Everything was good until I have decided to go into the Marine. At first she told me she would wait on me no matter what..but when we sit down with a recruiter he told us that i'm going to be gone for a while and wont be seeing my girlfriend much after deployment. She got really sad afterward..and tings began to go down-hill. She text a lot to her friends and I got jealous and confront her. She began to get annoy like REALLY bad. Her affection toward me also change. She dont want to hold hand, kiss or even have sex. Then we had the talk and she told me she could not be with me anymore, she has lost her feeling toward me. I asked her why..she told me, "u going to go for many years what the point if i grow too attache to u and then oneday u be gone" I try to make a deal with her that I wont join the marine but go to college..but she still disagree and tell me to go and chaise my dream..dont give up for her. Then couple days later i've found out there is this guy she text to all the time was supposedly her friend..they were getting on and on. He text her that he misses her a lot. And she reply back, "i miss u alot too..i can't get u out of my mind" and on and on..etc. Then a week later without any contact, i decided to contact her again..telling her that i have made a decision to stay home and go to school and want to be back with her. She told me, I stand with my decision to stay single, I feel happier like this.

So to sumarize everything: Is she telling me the truth that she no longer love me? I thought love didnt fade away so quickly

2. Is this guy a rebound or she really like him?

3. Will i ever win her back even if they go out?

4. She say she is too young, should i just disappear completely for 2 years and come back with her in the future when she is more mature? She is only 18 and I'm 21.

5. Is 21 too young to be worrying about this?
14-09-10, 10:58 PM
xxazurexx

Is 21 too young to be worrying about this?

Yes.

Think yourself lucky also, that you only invested 5 months in her.

Won't take you long to get over her and move on.

You have yet to meet, the love of your life and she will appear one day :)
14-09-10, 11:02 PM
xxazurexx

Also, she probably doesn't want to come between you and your dream.

However, the fact she jumped into a new relationship so quickly, makes me think you may have given her the perfect excuse to dump you.
14-09-10, 11:10 PM
BrokenArrow

Well, i just dont understand her. She is a VERY attrctives girl who has MANY MANy ex-bf before me but she save her virginity and give it to me saying i'm the perfect guy. I just don't understand how she could be moving on so quickly!

I
15-09-10, 12:25 AM
duran_ii

How do you know she was actually a virgin? But anyway, if a girl leaves you when times get tough (i.e. you getting deployed), she's not marriage material. If she's going to leave you over this, imagine what else she would have left you for? No money? Injury? etc. As far as I can tell, you did nothing wrong. If the breakup was your fault, that's a different story, but it's not.

She's too young to know what she wants right now. 18? She doesn't even know what her major in college will be yet.

Live your life man. You wanted to be a Marine, it's what you loved. Don't ruin your future over a woman who doesn't share your values. You'll find someone better.
15-09-10, 01:23 AM
sparkle_jello

She is so young, this is how most 18 year olds act. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend I absolutely loved, had raging emotions for, and thought I was going to marry... it only took a month of being apart due to college for me to decide I didn't like the situation. Plus, she deserves a chance to live life, and play the field a bit. I've been married for 8 years and I am glad I've had partners before my husband, it actually makes me appreciate him more.
15-09-10, 05:16 AM
BrokenArrow

I just cant beleive she b moving on so quickly. How can the same girl told me 3 weeks ago i was her Mr. Perfect be the one told me last week she no longer have feeling for me :/
15-09-10, 07:50 AM
duran_ii

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrokenArrow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just cant beleive she b moving on so quickly. How can the same girl told me 3 weeks ago i was her Mr. Perfect be the one told me last week she no longer have feeling for me :/

Because she's 18 years old. She hasn't matured yet. People that age don't know what they want. They are also relatively unaware of the consequences of their actions. Their brains aren't yet fully developed to be responsible and compassionate.
15-09-10, 08:05 AM
BrokenArrow

What should i need to do? Does she really over me? Or only saying that after i broke her heart that im going for a long time into the military
15-09-10, 08:32 AM
sparkle_jello

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrokenArrow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just cant beleive she b moving on so quickly. How can the same girl told me 3 weeks ago i was her Mr. Perfect be the one told me last week she no longer have feeling for me :/

I dated a guy in high school for 2 and a half years, I thought I loved him and wanted to marry him. I had dated before him, but I was still so young. It took me all of less than a week to feel next to nothing for him after I went to college. When I was with him my life seemed very focused on him, as soon as I had wiggle room I found it wasn't what I wanted.
15-09-10, 09:52 AM
cmacattack1

I know that is a burning question with you: "How could she have moved on so fast?"

The truth of the matter is she probably hasn't. You've heard of rebounds right?

You trusted her, put alot of faith into her words, but just because she says "I love you" doesn't necessarily mean that she loves you the way you feel love. Love is our own interpretation, and some have a very, very, VERY skewed definition for that. I would be the first to admit that I never really understood it and it has taken some dating experience to help me better develop the concept of love. And every serious relationship has helped me develop a more advanced relationship than the last.

She may have handled it immaturely, may have been dishonest a bit about how she was feeling, but you can't blame her for wanting a relationship with somebody that is going to be there. Most people in their right mind wouldn't want to be with somebody they can't be with, only see a couple times a year, if that. Sure we have skype and phone calls and all that, and I'm sure you would love to have somebody to share special moments with, but it's just not worth it to her.

The question shouldn't be so much "How can she move on so fast?" You should be more concerned with what you got in front of you. Years of service, combat, all those fun things. Good luck, soldier.
15-09-10, 10:57 AM
BrokenArrow

Thank you. I probably really doesnt love her. It just that she was the first one i lose my virginity to. Probably physical attraction got me.
20-09-10, 05:10 PM
breacliff

Thanks for sharing. Just like you, i have been experiencing that also. lol. Just think of this, God has the reason why it all happens.
29-09-10, 05:21 AM
powerslave

hello friend,at first i should tell you that you are wrong!LOVE fades away so quickly in some cases,it depends on if it was a true love or it was just a HABIT !
you should appreciate your ex for being honest for telling you that she is not loveing you anymore.
i know accepting this is so hard .personally i 'm suffering from a long term relationship (5 years) break up,and my girl dumped me for another guy ....i'm deeply depresed and down right now but we should be honest to ourself,if someone is leaving us for another guy,its better to happen as soon as it possible!
2-maybe she is on rebound or maybe not and maybe she was considering that guy earlier,you can find it by yourself better than anyone
3-yes you can win her back even if they go out,but be sure that its possible ONLY IF your ex feels that she needs you more than new guy,and you have to be patient or forget about her
4-maybe it works but please please please dont be hopeful.only wait for the TIME.as you were her first love ,possibility for this is high
5-dear friend i'm 29 and thats why i'm deeply depresed for this break up,you should know that you will have alot of other choices in your coming life,dont worry,just consider if she was the one for you or not.focus on your own life.5 month of relationship really doesnt worth for being dawn and depresed

let me know if you need any other help