A self-fulfilling prophecy...

Hello,

I am experiencing a crisis of self-confidence which is leading to a spiral into, out of and around moderate depression. I can not be confident because of several barriers.

1. Having strong friendships
2. Fear of being alone
3. Fear of rejection/seeming to needy/not being myself/not be charismatic enough etc.

I find that if one of the barriers are broken down I get a confidence boost. Sometimes all three are so strong, that I have to wait for a family function to prove to myself I'm normal. As confidence is the key to overcoming all three and my barriers to confidence require confidence to overcome, I'm stuffed.

I recognise this, yet that doesn't help me overcome the problem because I feel quiet and inadequate most of the time around my friends (I feel I can't keep up, because most of them are really funny).

To add a Briggs-Myers twist to this: I'm a freaky match to an ESTJ (Guardian Personality) which comes with the benefits of leadership, having strong opinions etc. It also has negative traits: such as a need to be in control, being status concious etc.

This problem is wrecking my adolescence and I need help out of this place because it is the source of all my woes. I just want to be happy outside of my family. Thank my lucky stars that my academic work is unaffected.

Thank you,

Have you ever taken a look at what past experiences may be contributing to your extreme social anxiety?