i like my flatmate, what to do?

Hi

I am so confused on what i should do. i have been living with this guy for over a year and a half. we cook for each other as it works out well for us, we watch tv together and just hang out at home but not talking that much.he is very shy and i guess he's not much of a talker which i initially kind of preferred coz sometimes you go home from work just really tired and you just want to have a quiet evening. i started inviting him for a movie, drinks, and hanging out with my friends. he seems like a very nice and considerate guy so i was just happy and contented. i knew all along that it has been a one way street and tried to convince myself that he is just being a nice flatmate and nothing more. however a few months after living with him, i started to develop feelings for him. i don't know why i like him but maybe i am just missing that kind of relationship. anyway, since i thought i have found the best flatmate, i have decided to keep my feelings to myself.

Unfortunately, i learned from him two months ago that he has already been seeing a girl for a couple of months. i was so hurt and i tried to keep it to myself. however, i was hurting so much to the point that i gave him a letter to let him know of my feelings for him. it was more of telling him that i was embarrassed that i still tried to keep on inviting him out, called him names like babe and lover (over emails and text only...:-), more of an endearment) and i just felt that i stepped on the girlfriend's toes. i told him that giving him that letter was not a desperate move on my part and that i don't have any agenda. i guess i was justt in denial all these time, trying to convince myself that he does not share the same sentiments. and now learning the truth hurt so much.

Anyway, we managed to patch things up and we were cool. he went on holidays with this girl and her friends for a week and when he came back, strange thing happened. he was no longer going out on weekdays again and it seems they have stopped any contact. i am not sure if they have broken up or that trip turned sour. i did not ask him coz i already told him that i will give him his privacy and that i will try to distance. So we have been back to cooking for each other again and i am happy again.

Now, my problem is that this might just be a temporary thing between them. i am so scared of getting hurt again but he's been around the apartment often from the time he came back from his holidays. he is off on holidays at the moment for a month.

Should i just move out? i thought i got closure when he told me he just wants to be flatmates but from the time he came back, i have started to care for him again. this is really shitty. i love the place we share and dont want to move out. the saddest part is that deep down inside, i am still hopeful. :( i cannot seem to stop thinking about him.

What should i do? sorry, guys..this seems pretty long now.

If you can't get over it (sincerely), move out. You've attempted to cross the line from the friend zone, and your feelings aren't reciprocated. Even if he makes a move on you now, you will likely only end up being a fuk buddy, and it doesn't sound like that is what you are interested in.

Ya, u should move out or get find urself another man. And ya, Vashiti is so right. Ur gnna end up a fbuddy/pitty .. Nway, best of luck.

There's a chance he only rejected you because of the other girl, but this is a tricky situation. If you stay, just don't bring up anything related to his girlfriend or a possible relationship between you two unless he does

hi. thanks for your reply. that's the scary part. i cannot seem to get over him, finding it hard to find a new flatmate, and a big part is wanting to be intimate with him. it sucks really. i know i still have a choice. i will have to think about it. just so confused.