Billy's Tiny Update

yeah yeah - i know the last thing you want to see is my name on something on this site again. BUT I DONT ****ING CARE.

ANYWAYS - I'd like to start this off with a GOD DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO COME BACK TO THIS SITE AND SEE FAMILIAR FACES STILL. And for those of you who dont know me - well, you just suck ass for not reading any of my past posts.

ALRIGHTY NOW !! Small update here it comes !!!

***UPDATE***

You guys remember Elena, right ? Yeah well things got pretty hot and heavy between the two of us. I wont go into details - but i will say sex was never part of it. I found out some information thru my little network of friends i have started to build lately that she was just with me because i bought her things. See i never really asked her out or the big question. I just assumed were were a couple. She sais that she doesnt think we are, but she knows i was thinking it, and that she is just going with the flow so she can continue to get these nice things i kept buying her. Well yeah - i just stopped calling her. She called me like 20 times the first day then called me just last night twice, but i never answered the phone. I have been rid of her for going on a month now.

shortly after i stopped seeing her a new girl comes aboard at my job. She is 24, married, has 3 kids, mexican, and is ****ing cute as all hell. Well i made it a high priority to become good friends with her. Well, things have gotten a little farther than that recently. I took her out on a date last Friday for lunch - she ****ing LOVED it. I took her to this place she was talking about a few weeks before that she said would be a "perfect dating atmosphere" - but she didnt know i heard her say that. I am good like that. ANYWAYS. After lunch I was in the copy room making copies, DUH, then she comes up behind me and pokes my side and scared the living shit out of me. we both laughed and she said I'm easy. I declined and she said "yes you are, watch.." And she grabs me by the shirt and pulls me in for a kiss. As soon as our lips touched her mouth opened and i backed off and just said "i cant....... you're married" and she just walked off. Later she appologized for "putting me in that position like that" and i told her not to worry about it. "it never happened." And we went on with our flirty selves.

Today Fabby (oh - her name is Fabiola, but I call her Fabby) and i talked ALOT more than usual and our talks seemed to get a little more serious than usual - she is like me - she went straight to the point. After work just as she got in her car she said to me "I dont wait around forever - i do get very impatient. I just want you to chew on that for awhile" which is exactly something i've said in the past. She is just like me which is ****ing weird. hehe

ANYWAYS. she gave me her email address today and i sent her an email about 2 hours ago stating where i stand and why i stopped the kiss. Her man. I wont go into detail about it. But i will say i did it again. I am making someone decide. Me or him. There is no way in herll i will go thru another threeway relationship again. and i wont go into it at all if HE is in the picture. Thats basically what i told her.

In other news - i started looking for a higher paying job - yeah i know - i'm a greedy bastard. But the job search isnt looking so good - and plus i think i want to stay where i am at cause of Fabby. I like being around her.

ALSO i downloaded the Sims 2 over the weekend and applied a crack to it. I think I've become addicted to the game. I have a wife, a g/f, and a potential g/f that my wife has the hots for... so who knows where this is gonna go. Oh and btw i used a cheat code "motherlode" to get me up to $9,999,999 in the game - so yeah - i'm a rich bitch. lmao

***END UPDATE***

And thats that. glad to see you all again in advance. And its good to be back. :D

hook me up with the Sims 2! I get bored as hell too ..

It looks so good. I want to play!

billy,
hope you had a greaT HALLOWEEN. welcome back

Good update and good decision on Fabiola. Three ways are never good things to get into. Someone always gets hurt.

I've had the Sims 2 since, well, before it officially came out. lol. Such a great game! Got to love it. Right now, My charcter is married with a kid. But I've been messing around with new families and different careers and such. I love building stuff though.

Anyways, yes, I am a Sim Addict ! *tears up* *hugs the computer*

lol. ;)

Quote:

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In other news - i started looking for a higher paying job - yeah i know - i'm a greedy bastard. But the job search isnt looking so good - and plus i think i want to stay where i am at cause of Fabby. I like being around her.

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Please tell me you were joking about FABBY being a reason you want to stay at your job . . . . if you're not, it's probably one of the dumbest reasons I know dude. I mean, you HAVE her email and shit if you REALLY wanted to see her. Plus you'll be turning down a better job (when you find one) for a married woman with three kids that might just be messing with you and **** you over in the end anyway

Rod Steele

***UPDATE***
Fabby and her 'husband' got into a fight over something small and it just blew up into something huge... i dont know details cause i dont ask... but she moved out and went to her mother's house here in Pasadena. So she is closer to me, and she is single... unless you count us as being a couple, but i'll get to that in a second...

We spent a LOT of time with each other last week at work and my boss was starting to get suspicious of our activities... She called me into her office for a little "speech" about interoffice relationships and how the upper management frowns upon them.. then yesterday (monday) she calls Fabby in there to talk to her about the same things... and thats when i decided to keep the conversations to a minimum and i have relocated my work space across the main floor as so i am not right there by Fabby. We talk on our breaks and outside of work. We spend our lunch time together too, not always eating. We make out all the ****ing time which is ****ing GREAT ! Oh and did I mention (my memory sucks and i dont feel like reading my last post) that she is the PERFECT kisser ?!!

Anyways... She still doesnt see me much outside of work hours cause she is trying to keep us a secret still, which is a bit suspicious at times... but all in all, i understand why she is doing it. She doesnt want her family to know that she left one guiy for another so quickly, and she doesnt want her ex to find out cause he is the type of guy that will get pissed off and just for revenge take her to court for a custody battle.. And her ex's parents, from what i hear, have a SHIT LOAD of money so they can get the best of the best of lawyers. So we are going to keep things laying low for awhile.. But i am hoping we can come out of the dark sooner than later.

Also, about the other job searching, i kinda just gave up on it. Things will happen when they are meant to happen. The job i was looking at fell thru. I dont know specifics about how or why.. It just did, and i dont really care anymore. I just need to concentrate on the job that i DO have before i end up loosing IT. Then I'll be ****ed. So, all in all, the job I have now is getting me by with what needs to get by with, so its all good. All things come in proper timing.

I also decided to quit smoking this week. I actually decided it just last night. I went out and bought the patches. I am hoping i cna go thru with it this time. So far so good. I have had a few cravings here and there... but less quantity and less intense than i have had them in the past. I will have to say this patch thing is really helping me. I have been a bit on the nervous side and i have felt kinda out of place at times all day today. And i can hardly stand or sit still. I'm extremely antsy (sp?)... So far its been 27 hours without a smoke.

I can honestly say that i am falling in love with Fabby. I've been in love with her for a week or two now, and everyday, no.. every ****ing minute i fall deeper in love with her. I can see us together a year from now. I know, i know. I try not to look too far into the past and stuff... but its true. I can see myself still with her a long time from now. I can see us happy together as we are now, no.. even happier ! There are no words of mine that can express what i am trying to say here. No matter how hard i try. I just cant say it in words... From what I can tell, she feels the same way about me too.

I can honestly sit here now and tell you all.. I am happy. I am happy for who I am. For what I am. For what I've done. For what I am doing. I am happy to be alive. I no longer dream of death and suicide. I no longer fear to wake up everyday. I no longer sit and cry for hours. I no longer drive for miles and miles doing nothing but killing my inner self over my past, wishing and wanting things to be different, wanting to die, wanting to kill... I can honestly say that I wake up each day with a smile on my face knowing that I am about to see the person that I love. Knowing that everything is OK now. Everything is perfect. Fate, if you will, has finally brought me my good that I've been saying that I've earned. This is what I've been wanting and waiting for for all this long time... Love. Happiness. Smiling and Laughing. Perfectness. Everything is perfectly ok now. I no longer fear life... But I fear Death, yet again.

I got to thinking the other day, actually i think it was last night while i was all wired on this newly applied patch... I am total oppisite form what i was a year ago. I was into drugs. I feared life. I was suicidal to the worst of extents. I hated everyone and everything. I hated the sun, and loved the dark. Slept all day, ****ed and cried all night. I became nocternal (sp?). A beast that walked the streets at night. I feared the sun. I ran from it. I p0ut foil on my windows to keep it away from me while i slumbered in the heat. A beast of death and pain. But now... I dont do drugs any more. I dont feel pain and hurt constantly. I dont want to kill myself and everyone around me. I hate the dark an dlove the sun. I sleep on a normal schedule. I have rebuilt some old burned down bridges, and i have built new ones never before imaginable. I have reached a new height in my life. All is good. I curse the darkness lately because it comes too early. I miss the sun. heh. But I am missing alot of things here that i am forgetting... But all in all, I am a totally new person. Totally opposite from the beast I was a year ago.

Life is good. And I am going to shut up now because i am starting to ramble on again like always. blah blah blah. you know all the good junk. lol ! I just wanted you all to know that I am finally a happy person ! :D

***END UPDATE***

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Originally Posted by sfalexi

Please tell me you were joking about FABBY being a reason you want to stay at your job . . . . if you're not, it's probably one of the dumbest reasons I know dude. I mean, you HAVE her email and shit if you REALLY wanted to see her. Plus you'll be turning down a better job (when you find one) for a married woman with three kids that might just be messing with you and **** you over in the end anyway

Rod Steele

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Just wanted to let you know that I know that she is not just messing with him and looking to "**** him over", as you so graciously put it. How do I know this, you might ask. Because I am her. Yes, this would be Fabiola. Or Faby as I prefer to be called.
Just wanted to let you know, Rod, that there is obviously a lot more to the story than Blake told. I could write a freaking book. First off, I was with someone, but technically, we were not married. Second, the "relationship" (if you could call it that) that I was in was dead long before Blake came in to the picture. I guess you could say that I just needed that little bit of extra motivation to end it. ie, Blake. And I'm going to leave it at that because I could keep going on and on about the misery I used to live in. Needless to say... things are looking up and getting better each day.
Blake... I Love You :love:

HEY SO YOUARE THE FAMOUS FABBY! WELL NICE TO MEET YOU I HAVE HEARD ALOT OF GOOD THINGS FROM BILLY OTHER THAN HIS UPDATES HERE. WELL I WISH YOU GUYS NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS. lOVE IS A BEUTIFUL THING. AND GIRL I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AT AND IM GLAD THAT YOU ARE NOT THERE ANYMORE.
bLAKE IS A GOOD GUY AND HE DESERVES A GOOD GIRL.
:baby: BLUE

In agreement with Blue. Blake (billy to us) has had such a hard time and we've all read his stories and the pain he's gone through. He really needs someone that loves him. Good luck you two!

Blake?? Ha ha..wow, what a trip. You just get used to someone by another name and it's so strange to hear a completely different name...

Makes it seem like he's a totally different person than the one you thought you knew...not that I presume to claim to have known Blake altogether, but you catch my drift.

Sincerely,
Oscar

ahhh nothing is ever what it seems really it can be all an illusion. hey speaking of the dam devil hiself where is illusional this afternoon hes suppose to put me to bed! lol xoxoxo blue

Just wanted to say thanx to all you guys, especially blue... Thanx!
I have come to realize what a wonderful person Blake, or Billy, really is. That's precisely why I fell so hard for him. He has told me quite a bit about you guys and this place. And though at first he did not want me to visit this site (he was afraid I would be scared away by what I would read), he decided it would be best for me to know all his "secrets". And I have to be honest, I was so glad when he said it was ok. I was dying from curiosity, but I was respecting his choice.
I'm rambling (one thing Blake and I have in common, ha). I just wanted to say I'll do my best to make him happy. Promise.