missing my soul mate.

soo, about 7 months with the help of my mom, (im only 19) i left my boyfriend... to adventure on my own my mom explained to me that im still young and got in such a serious relationship too young(3 years) and i havent experienced youth. Sounded like it was very true so packed my things pretty much and didnt reallly give my boyfriend much of a chance i just left him. we still talk all the time, he has a girlfriend to cover up his true feelings and to hide the pain i have cause him. I have tried to move on and such, but nothing compares to him at all. I cover up my feelings with partying (which i never used to do before)... now i sent him a bday present and he got it today.. i said i would like him to call me later.. he said i cant call you tonight hunny. having thinking night.. if i need you ill give you a shout ..thank u for the present. its hard tryen to keep you out of my life when i want u back but i dont want to feel this hurt ever again with you so i fu**ked both ways..
I know we shared a really special relationship together, and i feel that i didnt realise what i had until it was gone. Do you think he will ever trust me again, enough that we will be together happily.. or is it to late to salvage?

You're 19, not 91. Every 19 year old thinks their relationship is special when in reality, it's not that big a deal. You'll move on, he'll move on. Spend some time on your own instead of getting into a relationship. Your mum's right. There's a good chance she's been in your position before. Go on a holiday with friends, read or write. Do something that's safe and fun. At our age, we can afford to be a bit selfish. No point wasting that by trying to please another person. You'll forget about him as you occupy yourself with more productive things. I hear hiking's good. Do that instead of mindless partying.

Hi,

The 1st yr apart is the hardest @ yr age. If you want to get over him you have to cut all contact otherwise the pain will always come flooding back.

When you are ready I suggest that you try some speed dating/dating other guys then you will really know if yr ex is "the one".

Recently my 1st love from back then tracked me down. I thought I was over her but the feelings are still there for both of us!!...ohh dear complications

Good Luck