Why don't I want to have sex with my girlfriend anymore?
I've been with this girl for 5 years. We started out having great sex, all the time, at least 3 or 4 times a week, depending on how often i could see her. But it wasn't just about the sex, we were both very much in love. We felt like we could tell each other anything, and we never had to have any secrets. We were both very committed to each other, and although we had our differences sometimes, we put up with them, because we both knew that we were worth it. But then, 2 years ago I got lost in a drug addiction for about a year, so we almost never had sex. Don't get me wrong, she stayed by my side, didn't judge me, cared for me, and encouraged me. Basically everything I could ask for. 1 year ago, I started getting clean, and a doctor prescribed me medication that has a side-effect of lowering your sex drive, but usually only in the first few months of taking it. They weren't joking. We never had sex for 6 months. 6 months ago, that side effect seemed to disappear, and we started to have sex again. Everything was going great, until she became friends with a girl at her college. She started going to clubs every weekend with this girl, dressing in very revealing clothing, doing drugs (although I must admit, she is able to do hard drugs much more responsibly than me). Then she and this girl decided to go on a weekend trip to Montreal (we live in Toronto, so its not far). Basically to do the same thing, go clubbing. She came back, and she told me she cheated on me; with that girl. She claimed that she didn't really enjoy it, and that it was a one time thing, but she still goes clubbing with this girl, and I would think that if what she said were true, it would make the relationship too weird to continue.
Now she wants to have sex with me all the time. We'll be watching TV, and then she'll suddenly be on top of me. But for some reason, I just don't want to. I'll still get an erection, but I just can't see myself wanting to. Don't get me wrong, she's extremely attractive. She gets into clubs without paying or waiting in line, every time. She can't walk down the street without getting hollered at. But if I choose to have sex with her, I feel like I'm just doing it for her. She'll often leave right afterwards. If I say I don't want to, she gets pretty upset. She never says anything about it to hurt my feelings, but I can see it in the expression on her face that she isn't happy. I can honestly say that sometimes it feels like that is the only reason she sees me. I should point out that sometimes I feel attracted to other girls, and I still enjoy masturbation, so I know that the medication is no longer affecting my sex drive like it used to.
This is starting to drive a wedge between us. We've been through so much together, I would hate to see it end like this. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can give.