I'm so in love with my bestfriend but.....

My best guy friend and I have been friends for 10 years. Before he left for Afghanistan we became sexually involved. I know we shouldn't have done that because all of those feelings that I thought I had and kept surpressed is now coming to light. Those feelings I never told him about. We spoke the other day and he told me that he was pursuing a relationship with a woman. He said that if he ever had a chance to love again it would be with her. That was a total slap in the face. The thing is....he has always told me not to fall in love with him. Why he says this I will never know. He piles on the flirting and wonderful talk. Im confused! I never asked him why and now Im wishing that I had before I did just that...Fell in Love with my bestfriend. It hurts knowing that he wants to be with this woman....but the thing is...She is married. I've told him that he can't break up a home like that....he said he's just waiting on her to divorce this man...this also confuses me. I also told him that he can't wait on love like that... it's gonna happen regardless if he wants it to or not and explain that no one falls in love by choice. He said, we will see. I'm afraid of losing my best friend. He will be home next week and I know when I see him, those feelings I have are gonna make me feel that much worse knowing that he wants to be with this woman. I'm afraid of telling him because I already know his answer and think what's the use? My friendship is way more important but I can't stop these feelings I have for him. We should have never had sex. Should I tell him and risk losing my bestfriend or I should I keep them surpressed and hurt like hell?

If he told you not to fall in love with him it could be because he knows you're not his type. It doesn't mean you are boring or ugly, some men have a specific type of woman they want to end up with, and although they may be able to have sex with women not their type, they may want a relationship with them.
I had a guy who adored me and wanted to date me, we ended up having sex, but nothing more because I just wasn't into him that much. We stayed friends, but it was strained.