getting over my ex girlfreind and lost my best mate

hello

this is my first post on here so here goes

Im trying to get over my ex girlfriend, me and my ex girlfriend where together for over a year and lived together for about 8 months with my parents, we broke up/went on a break in august because I had been drinking too much recently and it had got me into some trouble and i was treating her badly when i was drunk which i am ashamed of, she moved out to her mates to sort her self out.

I told her that I would do anything and everything to change and win her back, I really did feel that me and my ex girlfriend where going to get married and have kids and live happily every after, I would do anything for her because I loved her that much, we started to meet up in a morning just for a chat and a drink before I went to work and on a few occasions I gave her some money because she didnt work and I didnt want to see her struggle.

I really thought we where going to get back together, she told me that she would stand by me and support me through my drink problem, i helped her through alot and when she needed my help with other things, but the day before I was meant to see someone about the drinking in September, she went off with another guy who is jobless and a drug user, I was devastated I couldnt stop crying, whilst I was with her I bought her loads of clothes, shoes, DVDs, took her out for meals, cinemas, bowling and she lived at my parents house rent free, what can this other guy offer? I know my drinking affected our relationship but cant she see I wanted to change for her and our relationship beacuse i love her?

Ive started going to anger management and to a alcohol advisory service originally i went for her but now im going for myself because I want to change and I dont want to lose anyone that I love anymore because of drinking. I know I must change or Im going to be alone and unhappy and I dont want that.

I also lost my best mate too he was telling my ex everything I said to him, now I feel pretty alone and well crap, Ive just tried to keep myself busy exercising, working hard and doing things I enjoy but I just cant get my ex girlfriend out of my head I just want to tell her I love her and cuddle and kiss her and I really feel we could work it out, I shouldnt feel like this but I do?

everyone says im better off without her

thanks for reading sorry for the SA needed to get things off my chest