She Suddenly has Major Issues
A little background on the situation. I've been with my GF for 3 years now. We are both in our mid to late 20s, do not currently live together but spend every night together at either my house or hers. Until last Friday, we were planning on moving in with each other this Feb. She has been excited about moving in with me for the past year or so, until this past Friday.
I have been going through some stressful times with my job the past month and I have been super stressed out lately. Consequently, I have been a bit more terse when discussing things with her and a bit harsher than usual when we argue. However, nothing severe or violent; I'm really not that type of guy. Depsite these few arguments however, things have still been going OK with her as far as us doing things with each other; we just got back from a trip to the west coast a couple of weeks ago where we had a great time. And our sex life hasn't changed, it is still very satisfying for both of us.
She has recently, starting this past week, began a training program for her job that has her very stressed out and very focused. She is working until midnight or later most nights after she gets home from work and is very tired and fatigued. She has never put in this many hours of work as long as I've been with her. She also takes ADD medication that she ran out of at the end of last week. Furthermore, it is also "that time of the month" for her. Friday evening I got mad at her for being an hour and a half late meeting up with me at her house. We were supposed to meet there at 7 and then drive to where we were spending the weekend. She went to happy hour with her new classmates without letting me know that she would be late. I ended up waiting 2 hours for her, which made me upset as I could have been doing something else while she was still at happy hour. I did get mad and sent several angry texts, however, there was no name calling on my behalf and the harshest thing I said was that this was "****ing selfish BS". I still believe that she should have let me know and that it was inconsiderate. She got home and was very different. I had never seen my GF like this.
She was very cool to me and looked extemely upset. She finally told me what was on her mind and stated that she was unsure about the relationship as we had some differences in personality and that she didn't like having "expectations" placed on her. I think it is a reasonable expectation to call someone if you know you're going to be 90 miniutes late. She said we're fighting all the time and said: "is that what it's going to be like, us fighting all the time" She also said she didn't want to move in with me in Feb. She said that it could change, but right now she's not ready. From my perspective, we don't fight that much. We do have a disagreement or two once a week; but as far as large fights, those are really few and far between and we quickly make up (Usually within an hour or two). I told her everyone argues and a relationship takes some work, it's not always easy. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said No several times over. She said that this was a "notice" for me that she didn't like some things about the relationship. I said I was glad she came out like this and told me and would try to change the issues she has with me. But she was fairly cool to me all weekend still and stated that she didn't feel "passion" right now.
This has all just really blindsided me, as we had a very very passionate night just last Wedsnesday, two nights before we had this talk. It's like all of the sudden a switch went off in her; or that she's a totally different person in the same body. I have decided to give her some space to get her work done (ie not coming over as early and taking a night away from her this week to give her a chance to catch up) and just be as positive and supportive as I can with her. But I feel that things are bad. I know that when people have a lot of work or stress piled on them all of the sudden, they can amplify relationship problems in their heads and start to make small issues or problems large ones. And I know my GF well, when work is tough she's a tough girl to deal with; and work's never been tougher for her. Also, she had recently run out of her ADD meds and she was going through PMS. I am totally heeding what she said in our convo, but I can't help but think that other factors are contributing to her thinking like this. As I said she has given me no indication of wanting to break up, but things aren't good between us right now. I think the idea of backing off and giving her space is a great idea, but I need other opinions. Friends I've spoke to about this state that I probably have nothing to worry about since she's stressed and they know the both of us well. However I know that once a girl gets ideas like this in thei head, it can be difficult to change. My question is this: What's going on with my GF?
How do I go about fixing this? and Am I doing the right thing by trying to make the adjustments she wants and giving her space?
I appreaciate any help, I never expected to have to deal with this right now. I'm still in shock and just want to get things back to normal between us.
