Really need some advice ladies.
Well I never thought I would be asking for advice but it is time to. The short of this is we meet when we were younger she was 18 and I was 24. In short it just happened, we fell in love and it was strong and passionate. During this time I realized she was young and mistakes would be made and so was I. She never officially "cheated" on me during this time. She broke up with me before pursuing another path with someone else which only lasted a month. We got back together and I had my own place and everything was just fine for months.
My Father got sick and I was forced to move back to my home state. This is when we broke up and just went our separate ways. We always kind of remained friends though through the move etc.
My Background - Alcoholic Father(recently deceased), mom who uses drug(have not spoken to her in several years), and a very loving step father who has taught me to be a man.
Weakness for me: Trusting, abandonment, persistence, paranoia.
Her Background - Abusive Father, somewhat stable Mother who has always been there for her. Parents are separated.
Weakness for her: Trusting, abandonment, walls, secrets.
At this point in time she is 21 and myself am 27.
So long story short we just meet recently again two months ago. The spark was very much alive while we were both visiting relatives. She was broken up with her college boyfriend as he had been cheating on her all throughout the last 6months of their 1 1/2 year relationship. She used to call me during this time and vent about what was going on with him etc. Of course I give her the best and most sound advice I can to try to make things work with him. (yet I cannot live my own advice now)
We spent time and did what two people still in love "do". We had a great time. I found myself unable to perform the last night I was there because the thought of not seeing her again just devastated me. She on the other hand understood and didn't take it to heart.
She goes back to college and a week after being back makes out with a close guy friend. We were not together so I am trying to just tell myself I have nothing to be upset about because we were not together. I just felt like what we shared meant nothing to her because of this session with the guy. She said "I had just found out that my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me the last six months of our relationship, so I made a mistake with this other guy".
We had talked about me moving there and taking my job with me. Getting my own place and seeing how it goes before she moved in with me again. I had no idea she made out with this guy until after everything was setup and I was in the mindset of moving etc. It just bugs me that she did what she did. She swears it was nothing more then a kiss which confirmed to her there could never be anything there beyond a friendship with him. Her current roommate is now seeing this guy, they seem to just pass this guy around. It is weird.
Being me I got upset saying how what we shared wasn't special and she said i have no right to be upset as I said I couldn't commit to the long distance relationship she wanted. This is true because at that point it time I wasn't thinking about moving there, I thought it impossible to make the move work with my job.
So in short this has kicked up my emotional side. I have asked her what the deal was with this guy. Her reply was "to be honest i just liked that he liked me". I have no clue what that means. I get scared at times with her father issues its just all about attention from other men and she is still young and doesn't see it fully.
For the last two weeks I have been on her case, as I always feel there is more truth to dig up or something. My brain just analyzes it all and wants the entire truth of everything. This has put a strain on the relationship (currently have the titles of b/f & g/f) She says she cannot take that she feels she does something wrong every day. For example she gave me a time frame of an event but it changed all the sudden as she gave me the wrong time. Being me I ran with it, "oh yea you are going to be out from 8-12 well it says the event is from 7-9!" She tells me "babe I am in a university and have tons on my plate and I can't always get every detail right. I myself just feel after this make out session with this guy that there is always something going on now. Like he will always be her "GUG" a.k.a. guy under glass, break glass in case of emergency.
We have both discussed being there and not so far apart will make a huge difference. I am afraid my non trusting nature will kill this relationship from physically happening in only 82 days. This is the longest 82 days of my life!
I was on skype with her last night and what kicked off the newest thing was her roommates and her were talking. My girlfriend chimes in after a roommate said something about another males member. She says she heard from four people that he was well endowed. Am I wrong for not wanting to hear my girlfriend talk about these things? Or hear her and her roommates always talking about how they think this guy or that guy is hot? Is this just because of the age range? I just remember being much more classy at that age.
So I flipped my shit again and said go find a guy who doesn't mind hearing that kind of talk. She says "i always do something wrong". I said we had talked about this before I would rather not hear these things. If there is a possibility i will hear these things do not skype with me. She says "i have the power to turn off skype when her roommates are in the room and no one is forcing me to listen".
This outburst last night caused her to want to take some space, three days to be exact as she says she feels like she did seven years ago. She says I am an amazing person but my jealousy issues cause all the problems. I just don't feel I would have these issues hadn't things happened in the past and recently.
I am trying to give her this three day space period but it isn't easy. I don't get the point of space. You either work stuff out or you don't. I am so afraid this will all just fall apart before I am actually there in 82 days.
Wtf do i do? Ladies please i need some help, thank you. Please feel free to ask for more details etc.
