I asked her out, she said yes! Sort of.
Hi all, hope you are well!
I’ve been talking to a girl from my college on Facebook for a few weeks now; we get along great and the conversation flows constantly and easily. She’s new to the area - she moved from afar a few weeks ago. We’ve spoken in college as well as on Facebook, but hardly. Just smiles and hellos. We never really see each other, so there’s been no real opportunity for me to strike up a conversation. I am not a friend of any of her friends, nor is she friends with any of mine, so there’s no circumstance out of college or indeed in college where we’d be together. She’s also shy as hell. Yeah, not the perfect formula for a pleasant, simple descent into a relationship.
Anyway. She started a conversation with me last night (Thursday), on Facebook. I’d already decided that it was time I asked her to do something together; we’ve been talking for almost a month now. Things were going pretty well, as usual. It got to a pretty ideal point for me to suggest something, so I proposed that we do something in the next week (it’s our half-term break). She said yes, as long as things weren’t too awkward (we’d joked about how awkward it would be when we spoke to each other, since we’re both pretty shy). I said that I thought we’d be fine – it might be awkward for 5 minutes or so, but fine after that! I also made sure it was crystal clear that if she was uncomfortable with it, thought it was too soon or that it’d be too weird, that she could just say and I wouldn’t mind – we’d just leave it. But she said if she didn’t want to go she’d have just pretended she was busy or something, so it seemed she wanted to meet up. Bingo, mission accomplished!
Well, not exactly. I’ll explain:
After she made it clear that she was happy to meet up, I asked what she wanted to do… she told me to choose. Okay, no problem. I suggested a meal (nothing too heavy-going, just a quick bite to eat) and then to see a movie at the cinema. She said that’d be cool. She said she was free on Monday, so Monday evening it was. We then spent 45 minutes or so discussing it: where to go, when to go, what day, what movie we’d watch, etc. Well, somehow, despite it being the primary topic of conversation for about an hour in total, we never really came to any decisions. It was myself trying to organise it all, asking for her input, but it was not coming easily. She was making me decide everything (alright, she’s new to the area, so she doesn’t know what’s what, but still – she could’ve been a lot easier about it). I couldn’t help but think: “throw me a bone”.
It’s Friday night and I still don’t know where I’m picking her up from, what time I’m picking her up, where we’re eating, where we’re watching the movie and frankly, if the ‘date’ is still on. Now, I could easily solve all of those things, I know good places to eat, there’s a great cinema nearby too, and I’m free all day, so time isn’t an issue. I could just tell her all these things and she’d probably be fine with it. But I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one that’s actually interested in going. All right, she said yes, so she can’t be completely apathetic about going, but in our one-hour conversation about our day out, she seemed disinterested in helping out and was simply making me make all the decisions. It’s hard to explain, the conversation was still strong, but she was constantly being ambivalent and not really giving me any answers. We just managed to decide where we’d go and then the conversation ended with her going to bed, before any other concrete plans were made (it was late at night and she had to be up at about 7, to be fair).
We spoke again on Facebook today, for an hour or so. She made no mention of our plans and frankly, I didn’t have the audacity to bring anything up, I wanted her to show some interested and ‘remind me’ (as if it hadn’t been going around my head all day). The conversation itself was typical; we had a good talk and a bit of a joke around. Alas, she logged off about an hour ago with no further developments to Monday and here I am over thinking things, as per usual. There’s two more days before our ‘date’ is planned. I have no idea if it’s still going ahead, to be honest. With her lack of interest last night and no mention of it today, I’m feeling doubtful.
All I want to hear from you guys is, do you think she’s at all interested in me? Is she putting off talking about meeting because she doesn’t want to? Am I wasting my time? If it wasn’t for last night’s events, I’d be pretty confident that I have a good chance, she’s always interested in talking and there are certainly flirtatious undertones to our conversations, but this has made me doubt my perception of the situation.
I think I’ll mention it again tomorrow and try to be frank with her, and just suggest the times and the places and hope she agrees – is this a good idea? If not how should I approach it, or should I just not bother? Is she just being like this because she is shy? Is this a usual way for a girl to respond?
To anybody that has bothered to read all of that, you are my hero. I’d be delighted with any responses. Any advice at all is desperately needed.
Many thanks!
