My closure - may be it will help you
Hi all,
I see there are a lot of "dumped" people here, that looking for their answers and trying to understand what they did wrong. I hope this may help you.
About 1.5 months ago I was brutally dumped by my gf. She was always saying me that I am love of her life, "a knight in shining armour", the best thing that happened to her, her soul-mate, gorgeuos...blah blah blah...
In short - she left to vacation, after few weeks came back pregnant with her X. I didn't know anything about this, came to meet her at airport and couldn't even approach her. Few hours later I was asked by her mother not to initiate any contact with her, cause her new/old bf (whatever) completely controlling her and very jealous. We talked only once, may be 5 mins - she called me hiding from the toilet, saying she is sorry (I still don't understand what about exactly she is sorry), she is confused, doesn't know how it happened, it wasn't planned, she thinking about abortion, if I may consider to take her back....the funny thing that I really considered to take her back if I could see real regret and taking responsibility (she told me it was "Lord will", family pushed her, my fault...whoever, but only not hers)...
Nevermind..since then she tried to call me few times, but I ignored her calls. So we didn't talk ~37 days and last time she tried to call me was 28 days ago. Of course, I was dying to talk with her and understand what happened and to have some answers, but I expected her to come to me and look into my face and not to hide behind the phone and disconnect when it's not convinient. Anyway, I made a lot of research trying to understand what did I do wrong, what happened in order to make my own closure (since from her, most likely, I will never receive genuine answers even if I will see her one day).
So the article below
[URL="http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/10_beliefs.pdf"]http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/10_beliefs.pdf[/URL]
I think answered my all questions. I really strarted to feel reliefed and even not angry at her anymore, cause most likely she is a "sick" person and this is just no right to be angry at them... pity - may be...
Also, it made me understand something about myself and my patterns. I saw red flags, but ignored them...So it probably, partially my fault either. I am paying for my mistakes and weak character, that I didn't break up with her when I had a chance and a reason (and I had plenty...but the same day she was in my bed and the problems "were solved"...till another time). I learnt a lot from this, hope you may also.
