I'm 23 and recently got dumped by my gf of about 1 year.
We loved each other from the start and she would say things like " You're my best boyfriend, lover, etc." and "I think we'll be together for a long time." Upon our initial break up about 5 months ago due to fighting a lot she had said something along the lines of "I don't love you like I did when we first started dating," and "There's no starting over, you can't get those feeling back." I believed her because I had never been in a heavy relationship like this before and she had. In the beginning, I was still unsure if I wanted her for a long time but I never didn't want to be her boyfriend.
So we tried not talking but it didn't work so we kept on like we were. (fighting and all) Things went OK for a while but the last few months have been pretty rocky. She graduated from college and got a job 30 minutes away. I believe the stress of graduating and getting a job and adjusting to the real world had stressed her out a lot. I tried to be there for her but I felt I just couldn't make her happy anymore. Her spark was gone and I let it fade away because I was unsure if it would ever come back. I feel like I didn't try hard enough or didn't pick up on her signals. (basically have to be telepathic with her sometimes)
So one day, I figured that i should try to make this work and asked her to "officially" get back together instead doing the whole on and off thing. I gave her a weekend to think about it and she sent me a text saying that "I think we should move on." I respected that and tried no contact but one day I couldn't handle it and started panicking and calling and texting and doing everything I should not have done.
We started no contact but after the 3rd day, I was informed of a family problem (they're 6 1/2 hours away) to which I just broke down since I had been so depressed lately. it was too much so I called her and tried to get her to comfort me. Honestly, I needed someone to talk to and I didn't want to be distracted by her so I could help my family through the mess they were in. She tried to comfort me but I didn't feel any better about us. So I went home for 5 days and while I was heading back to school she called. (we hadn't talked for the 5 days) We had a nice convo for about 10 minutes in which we kinda made plans for her birthday to get lunch in about 2 weeks.
So other than a drunk text and failed conversation this weekend we had no contact. She called me today to tell me about her new car before she went to work. Good 5 minute convo and I gave her a little time to figure out what she wanted to do for her birthday. I have learned a lot from this relationship. About how they work and stuff.
Sorry for the long story but I wanted to give out the info.
I guess my questions are these:
Can you "reignite" the spark? Can you start over?
Should i do something for her birthday?
Can I salvage this relationship?
Is she feeling this way from all the stress?