High expectations from GF's family

this is about my gf's mother, she is a very nice lady, she treats me super well, always offering me food, will get show tickets for me and her daughter etc etc, as nice as it gets. but she holds a VERY high standard for her kids... and me. Respect is like super highly valued in her family and I'm not saying my family or I am not respectful but sometimes I don't quite live up to their standards... well, Often not up to their standards.

example: the mother wrote a comment on my facebook because I had a status that I'm going to see a play with the daughter, and I didn't reply or anything and I commented on some other friends post. she got mad the next day and removed that comment on my facebook and had my gf pretty much relay the importance of respect and showing courtesy even on facebook, and how wrong it is to hierarchically choose people to respond to or people not to respond to. I mean, what am I suppose to do in this situation? 1) I feel like its absurd to even guage someone's respectifulness base on promptness of facebook replies??? but obviously I can't say "you need to chill out gf's mom!" because its not like shes mean to me and expect me to be kind to her. and of course, that kind of expectations I get 10x more from my gf because she was raised in that roof.

this is one example but there are things that I don't expect of anyone and no one has expected of me, that all the sudden since dating her have gotten to be "standards" that I need to live by.

I don't know, anyone have any good advice to deal with a family like that? just play by their rules? I mean, I can't get myself to feel bad because I didn't get back to someone's FB quickly enough, and I don't want to spend hours thinking about why I chose to respond to someone and not others etc etc...

Your gf's mother is controling &/or insecure. You and your gf need to recognize that and to refrain from playing the game. Ideally, your gf would have told her mother that it wasn't so big a deal, but I perfectly understand how she couldn't to keep the peace. The next best solution is for your gf to pass the message to you, then for both of you to chuckle and shake your heads, and have a good laugh at her "wacky mother".

-PP