Help me bring closure to this and get over this girl
Now keep in mind that this was 4 years ago and I was 20 years old
The reason I am doing this so I can have a better understanding of women and why people react the way they do. I am trying to educate myself! I am going to be asking ALOT of questions, so if you have the spare time to read through my thread and answer all my questions, I would highly appericiate and it will bring closure to me and make me feel better and perhaps I can finally lay this issue to rest and finally be able to move on!
I was browsing myspace. This named Mila that appeared to be 18 in her information caught my eye. I told her she was cute. She was really seemed really flattered by the comment and told me that she doesn't get that a whole lot. She told me that I was really really cute! We eventually started talking on msn. During this time however, I found out she wasn't really 18, she was 15. So my plans to go out with her than were doomed but than I thought I'd still talk to her anyway. Just for conversation. Also during this time i learned that she did drugs and has weird parents. She seemed interested in me. Although im not sure if she'd go out with me and I couldn't ask her out.
But, when I was saying sweet things to her, like giving her a "<3" symbol! she would be like "aaaaawwwww!!!"
I asked if she would kiss me and she said "Yes! I would!"
She also said she wish she was older so I would go out with her
I don't remember much from the conversation, but I asked her why she took drugs, she said that
She said that "its her personal life" and that drugs make her emotions go numb
So after that chat on msn. I haven't spoke to her again in a few months. I messaged her on myspace. She told me she was surprised I remembered her. What did she mean by that? anyway she told me the reason she hasn't been on msn is because her computer was acting up. so a few days later, I saw her on and I started a conversation with her.
She didn't seem to respond as fast as she did before, it seemed that her interest in me dropped a little bit from last time for some reason...anyway
There was one point during one of our chats where I asked if she missed me and she replied with "Well...lol, I only talked to you once" then I said "Yeah but we talked on myspace as well" than she said "Yeah once" Then I said, well, do you online miss me? than she said "in the online world we only talked once"
This didn't go down as well as I have hoped, because, I had the impression that she digged me, so I thought it was appropriate to ask if she missed me. Now that I think back on why I asked that even though me and her only spoke once, I think I did it for an ego boost! I expected her to say "Yes! I did" because in our last chat, she was really flirty and I got the impression that she liked me! and I thought that she would said that she missed me. but, now that I think back on it, I shouldn't have asked, it would seem that she didn't make a connection with me. even though back then in my mind I thought she did because of the way she reacted to me prior to this.
I asked her what her "type" of guy was, she linked me to this guys profile and he looked kinda like a "rocker". I asked her if I was her type and she said " I don't know, I would have to see in person
she then told me that she got expelled, I showed concern, then she said she was going to go to another school but seemed slighty frustrated while answering me if I remember correctly. I continued to show concern.Then she said "You don't have to talk down to me" Like an idiot, I thought she wasn't serious about that, I thought she was joking and I didn't even think that I may had offended her. I should had picked up on it and apologized right there and then., Anyway, I told her that I wanted to try calling her over the phone so we can chat. she said her parents had grounded her. I teased her saying "ha, your only saying that cuz you don't want me to call you lol" then she said something along the lines "I resent being called a liar"
she asked where I worked. I told her at Safeway. Than she asked how much I make. I said around 8 bucks an hour. She then said "huh?" then she said they had to go and off she went.
This was the last normal conversation I had with her. Even though I only had 3 msn chats with her.... After this it went downhill.
I saw her on a few times, she didn't make contact so I decided to try and contact her a few times by saying "Hey!"
I kept making the first contact when she was on. I don't think she ever replied to them though, however, after I said "Hi" to her a few days later. she invited two guys in our conversation box. these guys were really rude to me. Saying things like "oh you really think she likes you fag??" I don't remember how I responded to that but I may have said that Mila did like me...or at least that is what I thought at the time...anyway they were calling me all sorts of crap. this got me pissed off and I told those guys to piss off and that I would kick the crap outta them! they continued to throw insults at me.
Mila never saying a word. I asked her why these guys are acting this way towards me, she told me to not worry about it and that they make fun of people, she said they even did it to her.
So obviously this was not an attempt for her to try and scare me off. because she responded to me and was still be nice to me!
Also, if that was the case, why didn't she just simply block me? I think it was really rude of her to force two people on me and get insults when I didn't do anything wrong!!
So wait a minute, what kind of things was Mila saying to these guys about me?? why did she have these guys come in to insult me? why why why??? im so confused
After that, I saw her on a few times, I tried saying hi to her but she didn't reply, another time... I send her a heart symbol, twice. She didn't reply. Than a few days laterI send her a nudge "Its a feature on msn that shakes your whole msn box to get their attention" to get her attention...but oh man....
What she said after I did that was not I was expecting. Because I always had the impression that she liked me. I had no idea that I was bothering her at the time.
After I nudged her msn box. she told me to "**** off" I was confused and hurt after that, why did she had to react that way towards me all a sudden? was I really that bad to her that she had to just tell me to "f off" like that? it devastated me so much, here I was thinking she was my friend and all I wanted to do was talk to her and she tells me that! it really hurt me and its like she didn't give a crap. I said "Why are you being so mean?, I thought you wanted to go out with me?"
Obviously my mind wasn't clear at all, that does sound really weird and clingy, but I was so hurt and confused I couldn't even think, I couldn't make good judgement.
She then said "What part of F off! do you not understand?"
After that, I got really really really mad. so I started to insult her! saying things like "You're a loser! doing drugs you drop out piece of crap" or something like that.
I then asked her why she gave me her number, she said " I gave you a fake number dumbass"
after that, she blocked me.
She told me she gave me a fake number...hmm...we'll see about that. I call the number and what do you know, it was Mila, she asked who I was and I told her I was a guy name "steve"
at this point I just wanted to mess with her, because she hurt me so bad and obviously if I tell her who I really was, she would hang up
She said " I don't know a Steve, who is this?"
i told her that I was a guy she met on campus.
She then said "When I did give you my number?"
I didn't say anything, she hung up, I tried calling back but her mom picked up saying "She doesn't want to talk to you"
I hung up...-_- so...she lied about giving me a fake number. she did give me her real number, so she was somewhat interested in me.
I told Sarah about the incident and said that she would chat with her and find out whats up. The conversation went something like this......
Sarah:Hey
Mila: this is one of Aaron friends right?
Sarah: Yeah?
Sarah: Is that a problem?
Mila: Not particularly
Mila: He is just being really freaky and stalky and not leaving me alone!
Mila:He just freaking called me
Sarah: How did he get your number?
Mila: *sigh*
Mila: I gave it to him. Hella days ago.
Mila: I know I'm stupid, you can go ahead and say it
Sarah: Why did you give it to him?
Mila: He messaged me on msn hella days ago. Saying I was cute. He seemed cool
Mila: Then I talked to him on msn and he creeped me out a bit
Sarah: How did he creep you out?
Mila: The things he said
Mila: "<3"
Mila: "You want to go out with me?"
Sarah: Oh
Mila: For one he wasn't really my type and I don't mean for dating. I mean TYPE PERIOD, I don't need to be around people who frown on the things I do. Its such a downer
Mila: And have you ever gotten a vibe from someone that didn't feel right? I dunno
Mila: Then the fact that he was being all sweet, nice and blushy and crap but then he got all nasty and told my friends that I liked him.
Sarah: oh I see. That is odd
Mila: So I just wanted to know if you were sent to bug me because I know thats what some friends do
Sarah: Nah, I don't know him that well and you shouldn't be talking to older guys
Mila: I didn't really mean to..
Mila: He was just conversation, than he got all creepy
Sarah: You shouldn't be talking to older guys
Mila: He didn't seem so bad then, just some random nice guy
Shortly after she made that comment, Mila went offline.
I don't remember what Sarah have told me, but i can't asked her now seeing as I don't even talk to her anymore. Not that me and Sarah ended on bad terms or anything, we just don't talk at all anymore.
But from what i remember, Sarah told her on myspace that I was a "great" guy and that she misjudged me and after Sarah said that to her, Mila said "oops, I gotta go, bye" and blocked HER!!!!!
so, she claims I am a Pyscho Stalker now.
First off, I'd like to say, If she had a problem with me sending her messages on MSN. why the hell didn't she say anything about it? She didn't say anything about it so its her own god damn fault. I didn't know she didn't want me messaging her. She never told me, so.... I thought it was ok to send her messages, but no, apprantly I am a stalker because I send who I thought was my friend, messages. And I don't get the whole "vibe" thing, how was I sending out bad vibes?
And I've spoken to her a few times before and she didn't seem to have a problem with it!
If she had a problem with me contacting her, why didn't she say anything? she had no problem with me contacting her before, why all a sudden that she is saying that I am a stalker? and saying that I wouldn't leave her alone when she wanted me to leave her alone? What the hell did she expect??? I have friends who IM over aim, msn, yahoo all the time. So I guess all my friends are stalkers because they message me constantly
It's like she just decided to rip my heart out and stomps on it. She gave no consideration to my feelings and how she trampled them. Me being naive and childish or not, I have good intentions and it did not warrant her actions. If I annoyed her, she should have been firm with me ..... long before she resorted to taking my heart and trampling all over it mercilously.
and I am not going to lie....it really hurted me and even after all these years, I still get hurt thinking back on it. Even though i am better with women today and an incident like this never occured again. I still get bothered by it. I mean, I build her up in my mind as a sweet, nice girl and all a sudden she turns on me. Doesn't respect me at all. Hates me and doesn't care at all what she has done to me.
Why couldn't she be civilized about it? Why did she respond to me so negatively?
She mislead me, in our first chat it seemed that she was really into to me, hell, she gave me her number!!!! so I thought it was alright to send her hearts and stuff, but apprantly that makes me a creep now? even though she responded to them "awwwwww" like when I did it before? but now its considered creepy and I get told to "F off" for it? I don't get it. What part in this story makes me the pyscho stalker? I didn't leave anything out. I am not hiding anything, I think its pretty obvious, I mean look how long this thread is!
I send her this email a few months later
"""""I want to apologize
I know its been a long time and I just noticed you on a friends page and just wanted to apologize.
I realize that I probably crossed the line when I criticized you about dropping out of school and using drugs. The only reason I did so was because I was concerned about you. But I realize I may have hurt your feelings. I know us being friends can't happen. but I want you to know I'm sorry for hurting you.
I know I made alot of mistakes and I wish I can take back some of things I have done. I know I cannot change the way you think about me, but I thought the least I can do at this point is apologize for making you feel uncomfortable and being creepy towards you. I am completely embarrassed for my past behaviours, I was so foolish.
I hope someday you an forgive me. Well. Good luck with your life. Mila.""""""
and that was that......this was 4 years ago.
I was going through my inbox on myspace and well....saw her profile....
I checked her page, which was a few weeks ago, it said in her "Who would I meet" and it said "I would meet anyone, provided that you are not creepy, I would like to someday meet god and jesus"
She is 19 now and she is really cute now, she looks like a cute gothic. I felt like I've blown it, if only I backed off and perhaps came back a few years later, maybe I could have had a relationship with her.
Did she put that "creepy" comment because of me? or is she did she meet alot of creepers?? because that would be silly and it was 4 years ago!!
Anyway, thats all I have to say, I know you guys have alot of questions to answer. I know that I am touching on a very old topic, but I am still left confused and I just want answers. Even if it is just theories. I just need some kind of closure on this. Did you guys feel that I was that bad towards her? was I really that creepy?
It just saddens me that I went from a guy she wanted to go out and thought was cute to a guy she wouldn't go out with if I was the last guy on earth!
