How can I get him back?

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16-11-10, 05:02 PM
pandalovecandy

How can I get him back?

Hey everyone,

So my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago and it's been extremely difficult. He says he wants his space and a chance to be by himself and on his own and I really care about him so I want to give him that time, but I'm scared that if I stay away and give him that space that he wants, he'll move on and fall for someone else. What should I do? I think time apart is good for both of us but i'm really scared of him moving on if we just cut off all contact. I've been really depressed lately and I've been crying non-stop. I tried finding things to occupy myself but he always finds his way back into my mind and it's really hard to not be able to talk to him anymore. What should I do?
17-11-10, 06:05 AM
madotnw_nihs

I know how you must feel. To be honest, there isn't anything you can do to force him to take you back quickly. I know you must be hurting all over and depressed. If you want to get him back, make sure to give him the space. I am not sure what the reasons are that he needs time alone and away from you, but just let it ride out for now. Take Care
17-11-10, 08:35 AM
sapha1

im so sorry for you , may i ask , is it possible you to will be in the same place together or "bump" into each other atall int he next few weeks ?x
17-11-10, 09:00 AM
xxazurexx

He is requesting space and because he isn't sure about you or the relationship anymore.

Best thing you can do is give him space and all the space he wants.

He won't be given the opportunity to miss you and if you don't leave him alone.

If he moves on and meets someone else during the time he is away, then he wasn't really in love with you anyway. So it's a relationship that wouldn't have gone on for the long haul.
17-11-10, 05:47 PM
pandalovecandy

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapha1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

im so sorry for you , may i ask , is it possible you to will be in the same place together or "bump" into each other atall int he next few weeks ?x

i don't really think so..i mean i guess the gym but thats kind of a stretch >.<
17-11-10, 05:48 PM
pandalovecandy

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He is requesting space and because he isn't sure about you or the relationship anymore.

Best thing you can do is give him space and all the space he wants.

He won't be given the opportunity to miss you and if you don't leave him alone.

If he moves on and meets someone else during the time he is away, then he wasn't really in love with you anyway. So it's a relationship that wouldn't have gone on for the long haul.

yeah i guess you're right. its just hard i guess cause idk i guess i feel like 3 years is supposed to be significant you know? i guess we did argue a lot and he wants his space from that but when it was good it was really good. i guess we both need time apart
17-11-10, 07:49 PM
Mr.LubbaLubba

Take it slow, don't rush, but also don't let things go stale if you know what I mean. Maybe ask him to talk, but make sure you don't push him further away. Maybe just give it some time, things sometimes sort themselves out. I hope it works out for you!
18-11-10, 03:06 AM
pandalovecandy

Yeah I'm hoping maybe after not talking in 3 weeks we can catch up or something and see where we left off. I guess I don't really wanna bother him either though cause he's a really busy guy and if I try to talk to him while he's busy it'll make him even more upset so I have to wait till like Christmas break or something.
18-11-10, 10:25 AM
LissaP

Give Him the Space (and Reason) to miss you

Panda

I know it must be really really hard not to call him or communicate with him, but thats the best thing you can do right now. You want to give him the space and a reason to miss you. Allow him the time to think about the person he initially fell in love with. Definitely avoid all communication. Resist the urge to text or email.

After some time has passed, send him a 'Thank You' email or text. Make it sincere. All you do is say 'I wanna say thank you'. Leave it at that. When he calls you back, tell him 2 things you're grateful to him for then tell him you gotta go and get off the phone.

I've got a few more of those tips.

Arlissa
19-11-10, 06:23 PM
pandalovecandy

Yeah you're right. Its just been really hard cause Its like everyday talking, then no talking at all. I'm really hurting at night cause I just think about everything :(
20-11-10, 03:21 AM
twinrexes

You know, if you guys argued a lot then this time apart could be a good thing. It gives both of you time to get a little perspective. He may realize, like the others have suggested, that being alone isn't all it's cracked up to be. And he may start to miss the good times you had and the person he fell in love with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you checking in every couple of weeks or so with a nice, light hearted hello and a little pleasant coversation. Nothing heavy and no talking about the relationship or acting needy. You don't want him to come back because of feelings of guilt. You want him to come back because he realizes how terrific you are.

Keep yourself busy. Maybe join a gym so you can get yourself so tired before bed time that it's not so hard to fall asleep. Maybe get some new clothes and hairstyle and enjoy a little retail therapy. If you guys bump into each other you'll look fabulous instead of tired with puffy eyes from crying.

Remember, people chase after what they think they can't get, so don't make yourself seem like you're waiting in the wings. That puts no pressure on him to make a decision. Let him know you're glad he's doing this and you realize you needed some time too. Maybe even say you're thinking about a little casual dating to get him thinking...
21-11-10, 12:30 PM
xxazurexx

Quote:

Originally Posted by pandalovecandy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah i guess you're right. its just hard i guess cause idk i guess i feel like 3 years is supposed to be significant you know? i guess we did argue a lot and he wants his space from that but when it was good it was really good. i guess we both need time apart

I know the feeling. I was with my ex h for ten years - didn't mean shit to him, lol

People can turn their backs at anytime and no matter how long they have been together.
21-11-10, 05:36 PM
pandalovecandy

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinrexes [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know, if you guys argued a lot then this time apart could be a good thing. It gives both of you time to get a little perspective. He may realize, like the others have suggested, that being alone isn't all it's cracked up to be. And he may start to miss the good times you had and the person he fell in love with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you checking in every couple of weeks or so with a nice, light hearted hello and a little pleasant coversation. Nothing heavy and no talking about the relationship or acting needy. You don't want him to come back because of feelings of guilt. You want him to come back because he realizes how terrific you are.

Keep yourself busy. Maybe join a gym so you can get yourself so tired before bed time that it's not so hard to fall asleep. Maybe get some new clothes and hairstyle and enjoy a little retail therapy. If you guys bump into each other you'll look fabulous instead of tired with puffy eyes from crying.

Remember, people chase after what they think they can't get, so don't make yourself seem like you're waiting in the wings. That puts no pressure on him to make a decision. Let him know you're glad he's doing this and you realize you needed some time too. Maybe even say you're thinking about a little casual dating to get him thinking...

thanks, that gave me a little perspective. we kinda did argue a lot i guess. about nothing lol. but the good times we had were really great you know? and like we both had our quirks that the other understood, and there were cute small things we did for each other like he'd call me if a movie or tv show i liked was on and i'd do the same for him. i actually feel okay about things right now because he texted me today saying that Ratatouille was on ABC family.

i'm really trying to keep myself busy. i'm painting again, and i do have a gym membership, but i guess since i felt so crappy lately i've lost motivation to go. but i'm gonna try to go more often.

maybe around winter break when he's not so busy with everything we can have lunch or sometihng.

i mean like, i'm all for the time apart, cause i think its good for me too, but i'm just scared that we'll just disappear from each other's lives and then he'll move on.