trust issues.. i lied and now she doesnt trust me

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27-12-10, 03:56 PM
Blank

trust issues.. i lied and now she doesnt trust me

hey im brock.

A few weeks ago, there was a new thing on facebook, "post a random number in my inbox and ill write anonymously on my wall about what i think of you." so i put that as my status and started getting numbers. All was good untill i got a girl named jenna. My girlfriend thinks i like her, i don't.. i realllllly dont.. never have and never will, jenna likes me i think though. anyways, my girlfriend hates when i talk to her, and iam friends with jenna. So i told jenna that she was a nice person and that shes my bud etcc, and posted it on my wall (Nobody but the person that inboxed you knows who the message is for). My Girlfriend asked who the message was meant for.. knowing it was anger her and make her mad at me if i told her it was jenna.. i said a different girls name. Jenna then "liked" the post and right then and there i knew i was caught. i was only doing it to make sure my girlfriend wouldnt get mad at me.. now its the exact opposite. I apologized so many times.. and i admit i do have a lieing problem. All was starting to get better.. then this happened. My girlfriend hates one of my friends "james" and james is probably one of my best friends. so when james invited himself over.. and my girlfriend asked to hang out, not knowing he was there.. i lied and said i had to stay home for the night, because i really didn't want to start anything.. and i know she would be really angery with me. next day at school, james was talking to one of my other friends and my girlfriend was behind them, she overhead about how he was at my house last night and that we were playing xbox etc. She raged at me and started going off about how we have been going out for 16 months and she cant trust me. She CLAIMS shes NEVER lied to me.. ever. and shes making me feel terrible.. i only did it to wiggle my way out of harms way, and to make our relationship actually work. She means the world to me.. and i cant bare to lose her. She just fights with me and all of her texts are one word answers. i really feel that these lies arn't big, at all. PLEASE HELP.. :(
27-12-10, 07:08 PM
hello1

You lied to her over stupid things, what is the point in being with her if you cannot be honest about things like that?
28-12-10, 01:01 AM
smackie9

When a GF starts dictating who you can't hang out with it is very unhealthy. It doesn't matter if you lie or not, she never trusted you anyways because she's checking your FB and stuff. She is interfering with your relationships with others and that is so totally wrong. You GF is nothing but trouble and isn't worth being with....Dump her.
28-12-10, 03:54 AM
SelflessnHumble

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blank [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

jenna likes me i think though. My girlfriend hates when i talk to her, and i am friends with jenna.

Hey Brock...Relationship issues always fall under one of these:

-Expectations
-Reciprocity
-Lack of Communication/trust

If you "think" Jenna likes you: Your girlfriend KNOWS Jenna likes you!
How long have you known Jenna? A jealous girl can mean she has serious problems
with her self esteem, insecurity and self confidence. If you didn't know this: NOW you know!

What is worse is that Jenna isn't just a friend anymore ONCE you find out she has "feelings" for you.
Your girlfriend picks up on this and it probably infuriates her (which makes sense) considering you would
not like it if this was done to you "in the name of friendship" while she has a male friend who wants her...

And...*IT* needs to be addressed (which should have been done the moment she had an issue with Jenna)
It's not too late but you need to sit her down and tell her how you feel.
If she invalidates your feelings then she's got self-entitlement issues and until she realizes and changes
this this may never be resolved.

However the fact you KNOW Jenna likes you means you should not
be posting messages to her on Facebook considering she likes you. Your message you may think was innocent
but it wasn't in her eyes. In fact this is what is called stringing people along because you know you have a girlfriend
so you can't tell Jenna "wow, you're hot" or some other compliment to woo her so instead you say something complimentary
without stating the obvious. -and it is obvious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blank [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i knew i was caught. i was only doing it to make sure my girlfriend wouldnt get mad at me.. now its the exact opposite. I apologized so many times.. and i admit i do have a lieing problem.

Liars suck. You need to be up front and honest so that the person will respect you for
standing up for what you believe in. She's not just mad at you but doesn't respect you.
THIS is hard to reverse when a woman loses respect for a man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blank [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My girlfriend hates one of my friends "james" and james is probably one of my best friends. so when james invited himself over.. and my girlfriend asked to hang out, not knowing he was there.. i lied and said i had to stay home for the night, because i really didn't want to start anything.. and i know she would be really angery with me. next day at school, james was talking to one of my other friends and my girlfriend was behind them, she overhead about how he was at my house last night and that we were playing xbox etc. She raged at me and started going off about how we have been going out for 16 months and she cant trust me. She CLAIMS shes NEVER lied to me.. ever. and shes making me feel terrible.. i only did it to wiggle my way out of harms way, and to make our relationship actually work. She means the world to me.. and i cant bare to lose her. She just fights with me and all of her texts are one word answers. i really feel that these lies arn't big, at all. PLEASE HELP.. :(

Your girlfriend is now seen as controlling, in addition to being selfish and jealous...
You don't get rid of your best friend for a woman.
You also know lying is wrong, so stop doing it.
You have a problem facing responsibility which through no one elses fault (but your own)
was the cause for these issues...She didn't "make" you feel terrible. Your guilt did.

Making a relationship work is a misnomer and doesn't work.
You don't force something to work. It either works (by both of you working together) or it doesn't.

IF she had meant the world to you, YOU wouldn't have had to lie about your life and the people in it.

A lie, is a lie IS a lie.

You want to fix this? (Words are useless)

YOU need to be a man of action and show her that you now realize lying is wrong.
YOU need to be a man and stand up for what you want in your life and what you are willing to compromise.
YOU need to assert your feelings via communication and divulge your intentions without lying about them.

The truth always comes out and it seems you've been used to lying to people (your family) for quite some time.
Don't take it out on her because she's called you out on them.