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I have reached a point where I believe that starting a meaningful relationship, where physical appearance or anything else skin deep is not a factor, I just cannot will myself into believing that I can find someone, and now I continually try to convince myself that I am better off single, but I can't.
What do I do? No-one want's to get to know me and no-one seems to care.
Why does a meaningful relationship have to be one where appearance is completely irrelevant? To me, a meaningful relationship is one where my partner and I are physically, emotionally and intellectually matched so that our relationship can be physically, emotionally and intellectually fulfilling. In that sort of relationship, we will both tend to grow together, such that we will continue to be able to bring something new to the table. It is a lot of work on the part of both individuals, but hugelly rewarding.
I say the first step is to stop feeling sorry for oneself, as self-pity is not sexy or apealing. Then lose any sense of entitlement, you do not deserve any particular mate, you have to go out and find one who is compatible with your wants AND who is looking for what you bring to the table. And really, you would probably be more successful at finding a mate if you could be at peace with being alone and consider yourself good enough without a mate...neediness is also not attractive.
shut up, endless crap
You say you want a relationship where appearance is irrelevant. So you would want to date an ugly girl, someone who is fat, has lots of acne, never bathes and never brushes their teeth or combs their hair?
So are you saying that you do deserve a mate? That it won't be fair unless a woman falls madly in love with you in spite of the huge chip on your shoulder? That she should think you are perfect even while you apparently think you are such a loser that your only hope for success is if women stop judging by looks entirely?
You need to work on you, feel good about you. Until you do, you will not appeal to girls who would make you proud to be with.
They say love is blind and people believe thatQuote:
Originally Posted by ProveMeWrong [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
they do not choose who they love...it just happens.
Personally I feel this is complete BS because we all have a choice.
In your case it sounds like a good thing in that a superficial exterior is no longer the basis for meeting
someone with which to start a meaningful relationship. I can tell you that if we were
basing my advice and experience on looks...the most attractive (yet superficial) ones were
the ones who not only never experienced true unconditional love...they simply did NOT want
it because they didn't know what or how it should be.
First things first...
You need to stop enabling yourself...and stop with this negative attitude that only
serves to further separate you from what you seek: a meaningful relationship.
If people don't seem to care it's because they don't.
If no one wants to get to know you it's because they don't. (Do you see my point yet?)
Conversely if you had said "everyone seems to really like me" -You would also be correct! See?
Your perception of people are the actual causes of your feelings...not these peoples'.
Take hold of the responsibility and change your perception.
What exactly are you feeling?
What happens in these relationships or more to the point.
What just happened in your previous relationship?
I'd love to help you out but I need more information about your relationship background
that compels you to arrive at this point of view.
Ure attitude sucks big time
I agree with those who have posted.
Don't give up. A true achiever won't. Try and do as much as you can.
As a ex-military and history major, I still remember this quote from my college days:
"There are no Soviet prisoners of war, only traitors."
- Josef Stalin
not that I endorse communism or dictatorships in any way.