So unsure of next step...

I'm looking for some advice, ladies. Please help me.

I'm 43, she's 37 and I'm totally in love with her. We've been friends for over a year, and also neighbors in the same apt. building, both coming out of divorces. She's not good with expressing her feelings or emotions, but within the last month or so we've become very close and things seem to be moving forward nicely. Christmas comes, I'm at her apt and there's 24 roses on her kitchen table. I decline to comment. Then New Years hits and she tells me that she was "the other woman" the past however many months with a married guy from her home town (7 hrs away). She told me it's over. She said she just wanted to air out that laundry so there were no secrets between us. My insecurities have now outgrown my ability to think straight. I wasn't "that" insecure before, always been confident in myself. Why am I now freaking out? I adore her and want to progress into a serious relationship with her. I guess trust is my issue, huh? Living so close to each other is such a bad thing. I know this. Space is needed, but it's hard when she's 30 feet from my front door. I treat her like gold, which she loves but isn't used to. I'm so confused. I think to myself she just wants someone close for convenience, and other times I think she really wants a relationship. I'm not good at playing games, I wear my heart on my sleeve, which has been very painful in the past. I know this is all over the place, just typing thoughts.

Now it's your turn. Hit me. I can take it.

Sad, happy and confused,

Herkymur