Maybe I should take his advice

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10-01-11, 03:05 AM
warriormaiden

Maybe I should take his advice

I have never dated a man within my race.

Not that I have a problem with them, I don't. I've flirted with them, I've flowed well with them, and they have given me positive feed back. But it just has never gone anywhere. I think they're afraid of me.

I would like to try every single flavor if I can, and I have learned that I can be universal. Bottom line, men find me likable. :P

But the thing, I suppose, I don't enjoy about dating outside of my race is that I find, and this is mostly with white men, I tend to run in to these.......racially obsessed weirdos.
The type of men where you can tell that they haven't had much experience in other fields of women. And they keep pointing my differences out, just keep poking and poking and poking and poking, to the point to where I feel uncomfortable. It's nice to be curious about others, but I do not enjoy feeling like a Specialty Item.
And then there are others who recognize the differences, and just don't care, and continue to flow with things.

I've also learned it's just not ME, but other women of color have also been experiencing this. I was talking to my Asian friend, and she feels the same way. Like other races of men have JUST NOW realized how beautiful Asian women can be, that they're moon goddesses. I suppose it comes with the territory?

I was talking to my friend about my experiences with men, and he firmly suggested that my next boyfriend should be within my own race. My thing is, I feel like I would have to change myself to do that.

Anyway.
To fit in and be accepted, must you change yourself to make someone you don't know feel more comfortable around you? Must you always have to give in, just so you won't have to deal with someone else's discomfort?
10-01-11, 06:35 AM
smackie9

Some people don't mind and some people have trouble dealing with outside prejudice, like from their family. There is that stigma of interracial mixing that still exists in society for sure. Oh well just deal with it. Do whatever makes you happy. If you find a different race more attractive than your own, then so be it. Millions of interracial couples over come these issues and live satisfying lives. Like I always say dating is like buying a car, you have to kick a lot of tires to find the right one. If the dude has issues about it then they are not the right one for you. Keep looking.
12-01-11, 01:46 PM
MerryH

Quote:

Originally Posted by warriormaiden [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And they keep pointing my differences out, just keep poking and poking and poking and poking, to the point to where I feel uncomfortable.

This can either be blatant stupidity, or it could just be men trying to relate to you, in maybe a dumb way. When I read the above quote, it made me realize that I might be doing this to my Filipino friend, for example, who spent the first decade or so of his life there. I've asked a lot, A LOT, of questions about his native culture, religion, food, etc. I just find it interesting, and I assumed he likes to talk about that stuff. Damn. I hope it doesn't make him uncomfortable - I can now understand that he might feel like a specimen, or something. Thanks, OP.

Uh. So my point is, don't think badly of anyone who does this, just maybe come up with a good line or two to shut them up. Something like, "I don't think we've grown up all that differently" or "I don't really like talking about race." or "That's racist! STFU!" I don't know.
13-01-11, 09:56 AM
xxazurexx

Quote:

Originally Posted by warriormaiden [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But the thing, I suppose, I don't enjoy about dating outside of my race is that I find, and this is mostly with white men, I tend to run in to these.......racially obsessed weirdos.
The type of men where you can tell that they haven't had much experience in other fields of women. And they keep pointing my differences out, just keep poking and poking and poking and poking, to the point to where I feel uncomfortable. It's nice to be curious about others, but I do not enjoy feeling like a Specialty Item.
And then there are others who recognize the differences, and just don't care, and continue to flow with things.

Different races, people from differing cultures are curious about each other.

Try being a white woman in my area. Full of middle eastern guys who don't and can't take their eyes off white women. Most of them have had 'zilch' experience with us and they are highly curious about us, tis all....

They are as exotic to us, as we are to them.