What can I do to start feeling confident and stop worrying???

Okay, well, progress-wise, i guess im partly away from my nice guy syndrome for right now, and i'm trying to form myself into an assertive 'Alpha Male'(a blend of a jerk/nice guy, a guy who knows his value while respecting his partners'). I'm transforming myself into someone without insecurities(moving on from these slowly...) and actually has standards set, to NOT be a doormat and know when to say no, as well as make my own decisions and follow through with them. I have all the physical traits and activities of one for sure, but i dont feel CONFIDENT!

Whenever i try to feel good about something i just get brought back to bad memories of me getting hurt(i've never had closure from any relationship i've been in...) or i start feeling like i'm just not good enough for anybody out of pure jealousy and i start to feel bad towards myself, and i also become indecisive even when i know what i should say/do =/ How can i start to like the person i see in the mirror to the point where others would see the same thing?? If i just had confidence, i would attract more friends/girls for sure, well at least i would hope....=/

There's just no winning when it comes to women. Who ever you are, and how your personality is, they always want the opposite.
There's just no winning. I'll just stay in my protective shell for the rest of my life. At least I won't get hurt.
I'm not saying you won't get a happy ending, but I for damn sure know I won't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JeyGant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There's just no winning. I'll just stay in my protective shell for the rest of my life. At least I won't get hurt.

---

I used to be like that. I wish I still was able to be like that but I just can't :(

Beware of the lies that say that women want alpha male jerks. At the core, women want adventure and leadership. The only reason why the alpha male jerk is somewhat attractive is that they offer a glipse of potential leadership. Of course if the jerk has leadership, it will be at the expense of the woman. When it comes down to it, the majority of women prefer to be treated better. Be a Don Juan and not a Tom Cruise, if you know what I mean. Alpha male jerks are insecure at the core because they know how vulnerable they truly are. The true alpha male is not a jerk at all.

It seems like you are looking at things the wrong way. You don't seem like you accept yourself and it is like you are looking for others to accept you. Yet often life works the other way around. The more you accept yourself, the more others will accept you.

The only way to be confident is to be okay with who you are, not pretend to be someone else.

Alpha male is a good thing, but it doesn't really mean 'jerk'. Good Alpha-types aren't overly sappy, nor are they jerks. The good ones are intimidating to other guys because they ooze confidence, which many guys lack. They know their goals and know how to hit them. They are very driven, motivated - the type of guy many guys want to be.

Confidence is number one. It's not impossible to go from non-Alpha type to Alpha, but it requires a serious change.

Dress nice, groom well. Keep your nails trimmed, your skin clean, smell good, etc. Look good and KNOW you look good because when you look good, you feel good - confidence boost.

Hit the gym if you don't already. Becoming a stronger person is a massive confidence boost, it helps you look better and most importantly, feel better.

Create real-life goals and meet them. Tackle life, walk with your head up, don't let nerves stop you from reaching a goal.

Know who you are and LOVE who you are. Every time you look in the mirror you should see someone who is very confident. You can be you and still be very confident.

Talk to a lot of really beautiful women, girls that seem out of your league. Beautiful women can be very intimidating for most guys, if you're not used to this sort of thing your nerves will make this very hard. Fight through that, talk to them, flirt with them. Of course, if you are feeling unwelcome then leave the situation gracefully, don't be an ass. The more you are able to talk to beautiful women and hold a conversation, the better you become at that sort of thing and being able to do that is a MASSIVE confidence boost, especially if you are seeing lots of sparks with these girls.

For the record, most girls love the Alpha type, even if they don't admit it. Many just don't like the Alpha jerks.

If you succeed, then enjoy all the rewards life presents in front of you. A good Alpha type will usually make it further in life because real confidence breeds results. Jobs come easier, women come easier - it's just nature. That's why in the animal kingdom Alphas get all the 'bitches'. It's because they are the ones meant to breed, the other pooches are just secondary.

Working on yourself and becoming calm and confident are key.

Women are attracted to self confident men. They use their feelings so much more than us.

Work on yourself. To 'feel' most things, you must have 'thought' something first.
And a thought is a picture you have just 'made' in your head or words from inside your head.

When you 'think' about approaching a girl, what picture do you make in your mind?
When you think about approaching a girl, what words are you 'saying' to yourself?

Does the picture you make see you being confident? Prob not.
You will find that you are talking YOURSELF out of it with a negative tone of voice, probably saying
negative thing's like ' i'm not ggod enough', 'she won't like me'.

It won't happen instantly, but 'doing' something to re-wire your mind on a constant basis will help.
There are no 'quick fixes'. You have to start somewhere and it can only be done step by step and
like anything, the more you practice, the better you get.
Becoming confident is no different.

Craig T aneed4change

I think starting to really pay attention to your personal development you will get in touch with who you really are. When you add to that the help of NLP, you'll be on the fast track to get the life you want!

I recommend this book to all people who want to change their life!
Robin Sharma "The saint the surfer and the ceo".
You will learn to be patient, to love people around you and enjoy your life..

Robin Sharma is a good... I can really recommend him... Make you start thinking,,,

I can relate to what your saying The Nice Guy849. It sucks to be a doormat and I know about it cuz I can't say no. Because I try to be gentle and understanding with people I end up being the underdog... You'all gave good advices, thanks for them.

Hey,

You need to get more self-esteem and confidence as you know. The way to do that is to work on your skills and experience. Like this you will know more thus feel more confident.

Look like you can stop worrying about it, which is normal. Get involved and don't let little things get to you. You have to keep going forward and never give up. Don't take things for granted and give yourself second chances.

Remember, you have to work on yourself, invest in yourself that will get you confidence.

So here is a way out and it up to how much you want to work on your set of skills.

Make your talent your strength, that is the easiest way to get confidence.

Hope it helps