Whats really going on? Please do advise me

Oh I cannot start from the beginning but plese do ask any questions to help fill it in.
Six years later and a fist full of break ups with him (all his doing and a different reason every time) he asks me to marry him even a few months ago after getting back together in Sept/Oct. and making goals for the future, individually and collectively. So last week he calls me up on the phone after acting withdrawn for a couple weeks ie: no 'i love you's' or no xoxo on texts or any of that yumminess, and he wants to come talk to me. I know this cant be good so I ask what for. Then I allow him to proceed on the phone. He had a steady stream of reasons to break up. Alot of finger pointing at me about not working on my goals. And mind you he never approached me about it before. Told me I was doing things to distract from goals and escaping into books and an MMO game that we played on and off for which he had bought me 30 days worth as a surprise so I could play alongside him. Which I wasnt really into anymore, but I was on vacation from school and was dinking around( We are 35 and both back in school, and have 2 kids each). Thing is I WAS and am delving into my spiritual practices and studies which was one of our goals. We were even going together. His stream of break up material was unstoppable. I was left wordless cept for minor defense in that he was doing the same things he was accusing me of. He also stated something to the fact that he feels he cant talk to me about certain things (he probably meant spiritual findings/discussions) because it made him feel like an a**hole when he did. ....???
A friend and I have talked about this mystery ( of which all I have not stated here) so I could get some perspective and straighten out my confusion. I realized that it is quite possible that he has been bought by his parents. They never accepted him all his life but they praised his brother. He is the only one in the family who has children as well and is carrying on the family name since his dad has so many sisters. He moved in with them after much deliberation nearly a year ago. I will leave that story out. We had talked a lil bit about the change in their attitude recently and I said maybe they see your doing something they can approve of. His mother mainly has not been so enthused with our relationship but doesnt say a thing. When he broke up with me in the summer(which he knew to be rash and asked himself right away 'Oh no now what have I done'?) his mother said it was good because we just escape together and arent accomplishing anything. They have money and my family doesnt at all.

He said that he talked to his mentor about his feelings because he has a hard time seeing where they fit into things. His mentor I believe advised a break up somehow.

My friend said this was a power/control issue with him. (not the mentor)
In our history he breaks up with me ( commitophobe?) and I make no contact whatsoever, never have at any time during a break up. Within a few weeks at most hes making contact. I dont know that there will be another contact from him but when I go to the next event/ritual he will probably be there because of how involved he is. He will be able to see my RSVP to any event and I his. This pains my 'no contact' rule.
I had asked him when I still had him on the phone (break up convo) wouldnt it bother him to be in a ritual with me and see me there he said "NO, why would it, it wont bother me at all" I thought to myself, he has got to be kidding me!! As if he had become invinsible all a sudden. he did cancel all his RSVP's for a class we had signed up for together thru February. I dont know if this was for my benefit or so he didnt have to face me or our friend (my neighbor) that also attends it.

Well without plowing through more details and history.. I would so dearly appreiciate everything you can think of to give me of your experiences and advice. I want to be armed and have the 'take away' prepped when and if he wants to talk to me. And what will be the best way to talk to him if I decide to respond to a request? I certainly have never been a game player but its looking like I will have to learn some. I can no longer be accepting and nicey nice and understanding. What are the keys in being a continuously sought after woman in a long standing relation/marraige? I know this break up is not about me like he said, something else is going on and I keep running this private dialogue with myself telling him all sorts of things. Funny, I know its just an exercise and wont go down like that, if ever!!


Okay that was long, but how else could I put it? :)