Your Thoughts on my situation with a woman i like

Hi ladies,

i would really like your advice on a woman i am attracted to as my head is in pieces with this at the minute.

Ive kind of started seeing a woman i met through some friends. We hit it off from the start and soon enough this turned into a sexual encounter and has continued ever since. Its obvious we both really like each other, we get on great, have a lot in common, make each other laugh, enjoy spending time together and have immense sexual chemistry between us - which we have both admitted we have never experianced before. Alot of people have mentioned we would make a great couple. When we are alone or away from the friends we met through you would actually think we are a couple, even infront of people. However, when we are with the friends we met through she completely stays away from me as if she didnt want them to know or didnt want to be seen with me in that way, even though everyone obviously does know we are sleeping together. This really annoyed me at first as it felt as if she was ashamed of me, which hurt me deeply, she claims its because she is shy.

However, when someone mentions the official commitment topic of officially seeing each other, she seems to completely freak and says this isnt what she wants as she doesnt want commitment. Ive asked about this once, and only once, and that was the answer i was given so i decided not to ask again. I could accept what she says, however, her body language and behaviour is the complete OPPOSITE. shes very loving and caring towards me and has admitted on a few occassions that she has fallen for me. Shes introduced me to ALOT of her close and best friends too, bought me xmas/birthday presents, and has started to ask me if i would like to come out to see some shows with her and her friends, weve cooked for each other too. Weve even organised weekends away and day trips out etc. If we were just casual sex buddies then i wouldnt expect any of this at all.

When i met her she had only recently broken up with an ex and has had an bad experience with a male previously, which she has told me about. Also, in the summer she has to relocate out of the country for work purposes for approx 9-10 months.

I really have no idea what to do about this and could do with your opinions and advice on this. I really like this woman too so i think its a real shame. Ive asked 3-4 very close friends and have confided in them, and can trust them to give me an honest opinion, they have all said its way more than just a casual thing.

Do you's think this is just a casual thing? or that she likes me? what would you do if you were in my shoes?

I really appreciate your advice,

Many Thanks

Hmm, so she is too shy among friends and to tell them you are both a couple? Why aint I buying that?

Is there an age difference between you two? Just curious.

Would not bother with someone who acted like that around others.

well officially we arent a couple and never have been. im just saying she shows very little signs of acknowledgement towards me in front of them, never mind affection.

yeah thats a difference of about 3-4 years in age difference. why do you ask? i dont think theres that big of a gap between us.

where do you think i stand and what would you do if you were me?

Hmmm, she's scare of relationship for Now. If she has just got out of a long relationship and hasnt recovery, you are likely become her Rebound :)

Yeah thats what i suspected to be honest.

So it wouldnt be wrong of me then, if i just cut my feelings loose and use her for sex?! :D

No. You are wrong to use her for sex. Men desire is to please the woman he love and not treat her as sex toy... If you don love her, pls leave her alone.


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Don't use a girl for sex if she's a good girl, I mean if she wasn't start it first. Heartache gave a right advice ;-)

Well what about if she is using me for sex? She originally initiated all this, which is why im pretty confused, its clear from her behaviour this is more than a casual thing and then she says she wants nothing serious? to me that means she only wants sex and the occassional relationship thing, but without the official ties.

Give it a rest. Some people need to stick their toes in first before jumping in. Just let the relationship grow at it's own pace. If you get on her case and put on the pressure about it you will loser her.