I REALLY need some advice! I don't know what to do!
Hey everybody! Thanks for reading this and any help you can give me in advance.
Here's my issue: a few years ago I dated a man that I fell in love with the moment I met him and the feeling was mutual. He always went out of his way to exceed my expectations and treated me exceptionally well, never letting me want for anything. We dated (without sex) for about a year and a half, during which, I lived in another state for a few months but would come home to visit every 3 months or so.
There was always a LOT of sexual tension between us :) but eventhough he would usually at times try to get me to sleep with him he understood and respected that I was not ready for that yet as we were not yet officially in a relationship and probably enjoyed the chase. In fact, at about 9 months in I gave in to the incredible lust I had for him but he stopped me (fighting himself the best he could) and told me that he wanted to make love to me the first time and didn't want it to be just because we were both horny.
Well we had a mutual female friend that he had just met about a month before he met me but I had known her since I was aboubt 15 (6 or 7 years). At one time I was really close with her and her family but I had kind of lost touch with them in the past 2 or 3 years. Well, fast-forward about three months and he and I met up and made love. It was literally the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced to the point that I actually cried when he fell asleep (a point that I hate to admit b/c I am NOT a crier!).
2 months later I found out that our mutual friend was 3 months pregnant by him when I was invited to the baby shower! When I found out I did not let him know I knew until after the baby was born. And eventhough he never admited it to me I stayed by his side and helped him though all the stress it put him through. I honestly believe that she was just a convienience to him due to the fact that she had moved into his second bedroom for about 3 weeks when she was having some issues with her family and I would randomly see them out together when they didn't(she would give him rides to walmart when his car was in the shop. You see everybody at walmart!) and there was never any affection or even closeness. Especially compared to the way his was when he was with me.
When I confronted him about it he told me that she never meant anything to him and he wanted to tell me but he was afraid I would leave him. But at this point (once the baby was born it was actually real to me) I was so angry that I just stopped dealing with him for a while. I would talk with him every now and then and visit ;) him every blue moon and he would always express his love for me and vow that eventhough he regrets that this happened and understands that I'm angry with him he believes in true love and he knows we'll end up together and he'll wait for me.
Well a few years have passed and I'm trying to decide if I should give him another chance. A while ago his child mom and I crossed words because she absolutely HATES me now and started speading lies about me. I can't quite blame her because she was head over heels in love with him but after she had the baby and finally expressed her feelings for him and that she expected to be a couple with him, he told he no because he's in love with ME! I really wish he didn't. I've gotten over most of the hurt that he has a son with my one time friend but I'm still a little angry that it happened. He still pursues me and beggs to see me but I haven't yet.
SO, sorry for the long story but I want to know what you guys think. Should I give love a second chance. Or should I let go of a great guy with a baby?
