broken and hurt, lied to and cheated on...help

alrighty heres what happend. i saw this girl and immediatly wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. we dated for nine months and for nine months i faught for here because my mother didnt like her. i tore my family up and screwed my best friend over for this girl, but i didnt care because all i needed was her. well im a very jeolous guy and i have proven that many times. well there was this guy that i hated and would kill if i had the chance. he and her were friends and i didnt like that because he's tried to make out with everyones girl, but the one time i truthfully trusted her with him (he was going home with her) she destroyed my life, wrecked everything. because she made out with him. well as soon as heard i immediately kicked this guys ass but i took her back... but i couldnt help it, the thoughts of it kept eating away at me so i left her, but i still wanna be with her, so im damned if i do damned if dont my best friend is going through sorta the same thing and he says that we need to find other people, but im not sure if that will help because i would be living a lie... i dont think that im gonna live through this does anyone have any advise???help me...please...

Oh dear what a mess. Well i'll tell you something someone once explained to me i don't know if it will help but just because somebody cheated on you doesn't mean they don't care for you still. I know it's really hard but i think that you're going to need probably 6 months to heal i recommend you don't see her or any other girls in this time and just concentrate on yourself. I know it's a long time and it'll be really hard if you do choose to do this but trust me after six months you will feel better about the situation and your feelings would have settled down. This will allow you to see clearly what you really want and if you think that with more time you may be able to move on from her.(if that's what you want) Just don't make any decisions about relationships for awhile you risk hurting yourself and possibly others.

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Originally Posted by Heddy

Oh dear what a mess. Well i'll tell you something someone once explained to me i don't know if it will help but just because somebody cheated on you doesn't mean they don't care for you still. I know it's really hard but i think that you're going to need probably 6 months to heal i recommend you don't see her or any other girls in this time and just concentrate on yourself. I know it's a long time and it'll be really hard if you do choose to do this but trust me after six months you will feel better about the situation and your feelings would have settled down. This will allow you to see clearly what you really want and if you think that with more time you may be able to move on from her.(if that's what you want) Just don't make any decisions about relationships for awhile you risk hurting yourself and possibly others.

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thanks, its hard and if she cared about me she wouldnt have done that to me... your right no relationships no more hurt on hurt, i really need that advise, thank you...thank you a bunch

just forget about her! u deserver someone that wont leave one nite with some gimp and makeout >_<

And shot on kicking his ass man :D!!!!! had it comin his way >:[

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Originally Posted by Heddy

Oh dear what a mess. Well i'll tell you something someone once explained to me i don't know if it will help but just because somebody cheated on you doesn't mean they don't care for you still. I know it's really hard but i think that you're going to need probably 6 months to heal i recommend you don't see her or any other girls in this time and just concentrate on yourself. I know it's a long time and it'll be really hard if you do choose to do this but trust me after six months you will feel better about the situation and your feelings would have settled down. This will allow you to see clearly what you really want and if you think that with more time you may be able to move on from her.(if that's what you want) Just don't make any decisions about relationships for awhile you risk hurting yourself and possibly others.

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Yes in a strange way this has been told to me too by someone that is verry close to me. He was cheated on by his girl of 5 years and one day we were talking and he says to me you can still love someone and have cheated on them..this is so dont understand.

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i tore my family up and screwed my best friend over for this girl, but i didnt care because all i needed was her.

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That's your first mistake. Family and friends come first. The phrase "bro's before hoes" didn't come out of nowhere. Cause NOW look where you are. You guys are having problems, and you ****ed things up with your friend and family. So in the future, don't screw over a friend for a girl or get your family all twisted up.

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but the one time i truthfully trusted her with him (he was going home with her) she destroyed my life, wrecked everything. because she made out with him. well as soon as heard i immediately kicked this guys ass but i took her back...

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Why'd you take her back? It takes TWO to make out. She kissed him back so she's just as much at fault.

My advice is the same as your friends. Lose her. If you stay with her, you risk getting cheated on again, not to mention it'll keep popping into your head. She'll be out with her friends and all you'll think about is, "Is she at some party getting felt up? Is she tonguing some other guy right now? What the **** is she doing?" If you leave her, you'll eventually lose your feelings (not right away of course) and can start over with someone else. Someone hopefully more worthy.

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Originally Posted by Tomek

just forget about her! u deserver someone that wont leave one nite with some gimp and makeout >_<

And shot on kicking his ass man :D!!!!! had it comin his way >:[

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he he...yeah...

so she just made out with him out of the blue??? that gotta suk..... but do u feel/think that she is the one.........do u want to spend the rest of ur life with her???

dude, your best bet would be to lose her. she already cracked your heart by making out with someone else. if she truely loved you, she would have never done that. it sounds like to me that you were too clingy with her and thats what screwed it up. she lost interest in you and that why she made out with someone else. she wanted an adventure. lose her. if someone ever did that to me, theyd be out the door faster than a set of rims at a puff daddy concert. (haha larry the cable guy!)

Man I feel for you dude but you got to think one thing forget about what’s best for her what’s best for you! If you can't forget about it will eat into you which will push her away and you'll probably either A: split up or B: she'll do it again. But those are varied choices maybe she wants an open relationship? Ask her what she wants and then make a choice!

What did she say about what she did? Was she even that sorry and I don't mean a blahzah sorry and a crap explanation I mean tearfully so sorry for betraying your trust, love and sincerity? But I agree with some of the others you should kind of let her go trust me I just got dumped from a 2 1/2 year relationship with no more than a smile and a we'll be friends (ha! HA! Course I'll be friend’s seeya I’m moving on). The thing is it doesn't hurt forever. Remember that the pain is there to provide experience like when you were younger can you really remember the first time you burnt your hand? No! But the experience taught you not to touch fire. So remember with time you'll forget the action but remember the lesson! Quote from Kelis: You might trick me once but I won't let you trick me twice!

Once a cheater - always a cheater.

Remember those words, and then feel free to email me me after it happens again. Because either A) Your relationship wont last long enough for it to happen again, or B) It will happen again.

The person you have convinced yourself that you are "ready to spend the rest of your life with" isnt someone who randomly goes and makes out with some other dude. Chances are you are still in High School, and as much of a newsflash this is going to be for you, here it is:

This is not the girl you are going to marry. Ever.




Btw, in case you lose my email, feel free to PM me here at these forums.

Yes I have to agree there. I know this wont make you feel better, but not everyone cheats. It happened to me and it sort of broke my will to ever trust in anyone again. I do know after feeling like that, I would never be able to do that to someone else. You just need to find someone who isn't selfish and can actualy think how other people have feelings too.

Cyborg ios totally right he speaks with pure truth! When someone steals and gets away with it do they stop? Nope! If you let her cheat and get away with it not only are you cheating on yourself but she'll think she can get away with that type of behaviour and to be honmest thats just not acceptable!

The question I have is would you let someone steal from you? Cause when she cheats thats what she does, she steals a part of you! She may not do it again but the chances are she will? Like I said earlier let the person go! And never let someone cheat on you and get away with it if you find out then you gotta chuck them out (of your life that is)! No friendship no calls no nbothing because they don't respect you AT ALL!

Also cheats show one trait which a girlfriend or friends should never have a disrepect for you and your feelings and a selfish attitude!