Girlfriend very distant. When to break up vs. just take a break?
I've been in a long distance relationship for going on 6 months now. She's 4 hours away, so it's not SOOOO long. In the beginning I drove there, or she drove here every second week. And we'd take so much time off of work, that we'd see each other for 4-5 days at a time. It was a very passionate relationship. Lots of amazing sex. Lots of pillow talk. We basically would just call time out on the world, and totally climb inside this bubble of peace when we were with each other.
But then her business started to suffer. She has been separated from her husband for a year and is going through the last of an emotional divorce. He is wealthy, and she is not. So she is just now, for the first time getting a real taste of the fear and dread that comes with being "on your own." So, she is genuinely freaking out. And it happened so suddenly. The last time I was there, she just suddenly went and checked her account balances, and she walked out, and we haven't been the same since.
She basically said, I can't see you in January. I have to get my business in order. And she was right. We had both put aside our lives to be with each other. We had both over-spent making our trips to see each other magical. I knew it had to be reigned in. In fact, I had already had that exact conversation with her about my finances; she was merely agreeing with me, but taking it one step further to actually say, NO VISITS in January.
Well... that "No visit" rule has come to be a almost no phone call, no text, deep deep depression situation. We used to text each other all day with little cute this and that's. She'd text me pictures of two pairs of shoes and ask me which one's I liked better for the dress she is wearing (also in a picture). It was all that sickeningly sweet new love stuff. Well... ALL of that has stopped. She never texts me. We used to talk for hours on the phone; now she only calls me when she needs something for her business (I am doing a simple web-design for her business). I have been really understanding. And I DO understand! This shit has to be the scariest time in her life. I don't pressure her. I don't offer up too much advice or anything. I let her know that she can call me any time, and that everything is going to be okay.
But lately, things have gotten to be pretty bad. Now she not only barely ever calls me, when she does call me she kinda talks to me like crap. If she is upset, and I try to comfort her, she just barks "I KNOW ALL THAT!!!!" at me. Or she just kinda gives me this impatient "When is this website going to be ready?" feel. But the most insulting thing is... she will be on the phone with me, and then someone else will call, and she will take their call, and NEVER come back to me. So, I hang up after 5 minutes or so. And she never calls back. Or she will take a call and tell me that she will call me right back, but then she never does. Or she will at 1:30 in the morning. And I'll be asleep, and will say, "What happened." and she will say that her sister called, and she had to handle her situation (her sister is a drama queen).
So, basically I have become literally dead last on her list of priorities. And when I mention it to her she tries to make me feel just overly sensitive, and that I need to toughen up. And she gives the same sob story about her business falling apart etc. Last night we were talking about it on the phone as she went to meet a friend for drinks after a show they went to... and I told her that now is not the time to have this conversation, but she wanted to anyway... but then while I was talking, she walked into the loud bar with music and everything, and basically I couldn't hear a word, and just hung up after literally 3-4 minutes of saying "hello... hello... hello?"
So, my feelings are needless to say, really hurt. I feel like she just shoves me aside as if I am almost an annoyance to have to deal with. Her life seems so busy, and whatever... I just don't think that she has any space in it for me right now.
But what to do??? She's not a bad person. For 5 months we were an unstopable super couple. And then... literally overnight... flop. I've never "taken a break" before. Does that shit work? Or is that some Hollywood crap, and we'll end up just never getting it together again? Her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks, so I don't want to just drop her right now. But I have to admit, if her birthday were no right around the corner, I think I'd be having some totally different kinds of conversations with her.
What do you guys think I should do?
