I LOVE her but she is already in a relationship -- weird situation

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31-01-11, 04:05 AM
Spyr

I LOVE her but she is already in a relationship -- weird situation

Hello all, I think like I am now facing the worst feeling of my life that could have ever happened to me.
I know this girl for almost 2 years and I always liked her, but the last times I ve relised out that I ve fallen in love with her!
We are both 20 y.o. , but unfortunatelly she is already in a relationship with a 21 y.o.
This is the first time in my life that I like someone who is already in a relationship, but actually I dont just like her, I LOVE her!
I havent felt like this for a girl before. She attracts me physically, mentally, sexually... and every other kind of love that you can think...
I feel like she is the best human being I ve ever met, I like her personality, her ideas, and I have fun and a good time when I am with her.
But as far as she already taken, I feel very sad because I cannot try to flirt her or something, although I really want to!
Like 2 days ago when I was for 5 hours in her home and we had a good time, but I wasnt able to do something above the "boys - girls friends" line... I feel like it would be better if I could flirt her at least and she had rejected me rather than not being able to tell her my emotions about her so I never know if she wants me too or not.
Her boyfriend is someone I know (he is not a friend of mine tho) but he is a jerk since he cheated on her! (If I had that girl mine I would have NEVER shown interest for other gilrs)
He just wants to have sex with as many girls as possible. She actually found out that he cheated her, they broke up but later they came back together again... That makes the situation even more complicated...
I cant put that girl out of my mind! I am thinking about her all the time of the day, it seems like I am addicted to her now...
Its so bad to have some wonderfull feelings about a person but not being able to express them your feelings.
I am looking for someone to advice me...
31-01-11, 04:38 AM
MerryH

There is nothing you can do but move on. She's not available.

I assume she was single at some point in the two years that you've liked her. Why didn't you do anything about it before?
31-01-11, 05:15 AM
Spyr

No unfortunatelly she was taken since I first met her... (if only I had met her 1 month earlier!)
All these years I try to forget her and find other girls for a relationship but I can never move on since I always compare them to her and she looks to be uncomparable...
I ve developed so strong feelings about her these last 2 years and I really LOVE her...
Thats why I am sad because she is with someone who doesnt truly love her and he is hurting her feelings...
31-01-11, 05:32 AM
xxazurexx

^I'm pretty sure that there will be other women out there and who CAN and WILL compare to her - but you need to remove those rose coloured spectacles first that you seem to be wearing.

I'm unsure what you want people to say and all that we can say is, she is unavailable and you have no option but to move on and as much as it hurts.
31-01-11, 05:32 AM
MerryH

In the future, when you start to have feelings for a girl who is unavailable, you need to remove yourself from that situation instead of letting it fester for two years until you're finally in love with her and can't imagine being with anyone else. You've gotten yourself into a mess, now work your way out of it by wishing her happiness in her relationship and moving on.
01-02-11, 04:19 AM
Boisdevie

She is in a relationship = not available. Find somebody who is available is and stop obsessing.
01-02-11, 07:15 AM
Spyr

Yeah I agree that it seems like I cannot go on with her at least at this period of her life and I wouldnt do something more as far as she is still in relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boisdevie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She is in a relationship = not available. Find somebody who is available is and stop obsessing.

I dont think that I am obsessing. When you have some good times with a friend of yours and then you do remember the rest of the day the things you did together then its not obsessing, at least according to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MerryH [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

In the future, when you start to have feelings for a girl who is unavailable, you need to remove yourself from that situation instead of letting it fester for two years until you're finally in love with her and can't imagine being with anyone else. You've gotten yourself into a mess, now work your way out of it by wishing her happiness in her relationship and moving on.

I was always thinking that when a girl is taken there is no reason to think of her as a possible lover. We meet each other very frequently because we are in the same class in college. When I first met her I liked her from the first time, and we had a good time together so I thought that we could become good friends at least. Then I learnt about her boyfriend. So I thought "ok another already taken preety girl that we are going to become friends". I have other preety female friends, (many of them are single) and I never felt something different for them. But I couldnt lock my heart. Some months later I was in love with her and it hurts when I cannot express my feelings to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

^I'm pretty sure that there will be other women out there and who CAN and WILL compare to her - but you need to remove those rose coloured spectacles first that you seem to be wearing.

Ofcourse I hope that there are other women like her. But I havent find someone else like her. When I meet a girl that I am not interested in her I dont want to move on with her because I know that later the story will end with sad feelings and also I dont want to lie to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm unsure what you want people to say and all that we can say is, she is unavailable and you have no option but to move on and as much as it hurts.

She may is unavailabe, but we are friends and we see each other frequently. Its not possible for me to stop talking her, she ll go weird and probably sad too. I always say to her that she has to do the best for her relationship but when she replies that her bf cheated her I dont know what to say to her.

For me she is the one...All these things really really hurt me...
02-02-11, 08:58 AM
Spyr

Update to my story: She asked me if I like someone... What should I answer her? I never lie to nobody, especially to her...