Big Package, Hot Fun w/BS or Sweetheart & Small Guns? Who to Choose?
Hey all,
I'm kind of stumped at the moment and don't know which direction to take - if anyone has been in the same situation or can shed some light (I currently can't see outside the box), please help :)
Scenario: 2 guys... VERY DIFFERENT from one another! I'm 29, attractive, got my sh*t together except my love life. I've had 2 guys propose to me in the past, and now I'm starting to realize the meaning of settling down (lol, I'm a catch ;))
Guy #1 Age 29: My ex - the presumed love of my life. We were together for 4 years, I never gave into something like this before (been in 4 serious relationships). He was the one I want to marry, the one I can't see myself without, "my true love". The sexual chemistry between us is unbelievable (I'm very sexually experienced and never had such a connection with anyone like this before). He's well hung, the sex is animalistic. I was loyal, would put his needs before mine and was happy to feel selfless for once. He's European like me - we share the same cultural values... and it's easy to integrate each other in the other's life.
Downside: The first 2 years, rocked... then his true colours set in. He had an online sex addiction (talking to random chicks, cyber sex etc)... and I found out after 2 years of this happening. When I'd confront him of my suspicions he would outright lie. He also is a bad bad communicator, when things hit the fan, he runs and doesn't try to fix things, his friends seem to be his #1 priority, and trust me, I'm not clingy, needy or controlling at all, but it's like he's d*ck whipped for them... Then he got loaded one night, ended up at some really ugly gal's house and fooled around with her (no sex)... and his excuse "there was no hope, we fight so much". The fighting was regarding his friends, and the neglect I felt... I'm used to there being a reciprocal amount of affection and now I'm emotionally torn. We broke up 3 months ago, we still talk. I'm confused and all this stress led to me miscarrying our baby. Even in the last 3 months, I've caught him online, and he again would lie to my face. He cut off his "BAD" friends, started going to counselling, and says he's changed, but the lies are still there.
Guy #2 Age 31: Met this guy randomly 6 weeks ago and all I can say is WOW! Amazing personality... I mean he's the guy version of me, he's cute, we look great together! We spend hours upon hours on our dates, and can't stop laughing! There's a sense of adventure, sensuality and playfulness. He compliments me in ways that I haven't experienced in a long time. We have much in common, yet the differences both make us curious. A true gentleman with his life in order, great family,values, I just met his friends and totally clicked!
Downside: Culturally, he's typically not the type I date. I'm European, he's hardcore white... I take him out try new cultures (music, food)... and it's weird when I see a blank expression or if he's not bouncing/dancing around like crazy as I am. He's mellow where I am kooky and outgoing. He's never been in a long term relationship (most 6months) b/c he's had a bad run with women - this scares me... can he commit? Will he put up a guard with me? Also, sexually, I intimidate him. He's more slow and boring but I'm teaching him tricks that makes him responsive. And I know I sound like a bitch (which I'm not), but he's not really well hung and having sex isn't the most pleasurable at this time. Essentially, I don't want to be infatuated with a temporary feeling.
Our families know about this, but I feel embarrassed to talk to my friends for advice and it's starting to affect the quality of my day-to-day.
