The BEST thing I learned in therapy...
If you've read my other thread about my love troubles, you all know I'm hurting right now. The up-side is that it's caused me to reflect on how I've dealt with difficult situations before (I've had a couple of other significant relationships end, one in divorce; death of my father; loss of a job; etc.) Having spent some time in therapy a few years ago, I learned a few things, and the most useful one by FAR I'm going to share now, as I'm realizing all over again how much it applies!
My therapist has a 'method' she calls: H.A.L.T. --These letters stand for the four questions you should ask yourself when you're depressed, or feel you just can't deal with the feelings you have. The questions are:
- Am I Hungry? (H)
- Am I Angry? (A)
- Am I Lonely? (L)
- Am I Tired? (T)
If you can answer "yes" to ANY ONE of these questions, then force yourself to immediately deal with that problem--- Eat some food; Recognize you're angry and express it (non-violently, of course); Call a friend or IM somebody just to make some contact; Get some sleep... You get the idea.
In my case, when I feel like crap, I often lose my appetite and go far too long without food and my blood sugar drops. All my problems start looming larger than I can deal with... I eat a few bites (fruit rocks for this), and suddenly the original problem is more in perspective.
It pretty much works the same for the other three, too.
This does NOT make your problems go away--- there are legitimate reasons to be bummed-out or depressed--- however if you address any of those four areas of Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tiredness, you will find yourself better able to deal with everything. It sort of helps you know the difference between depression caused by crappy life-experiences, and depression caused or exacerbated by biology. Often you are suffering from BOTH kinds at once, and you feel hopeless, helpless and all-around screwed.
Give this a try next time--- ask those four questions and address the answers--- you may find the strength you need to deal with stuff.
Thanks for reading, and I hope this helps someone.
