flirting while in a relationship?

I first had trust issues after finding numerous text messages from my boyfriend to about 2-3 online female friends. I don't know them that well, but I do know that they used to play the same game together and one of them is engaged. The text messages said things like "I miss you a lot" and "hey there sexy" but some went into things about our relationship.

This bothered me a lot & ever since then, I could never fully trust him. I felt like I had to check his email & texts all the time to make sure he doesn't do anything, but he has a history of deleting things I wouldn't want to see ..

So my question is whether what he calls "playful" flirting normal for guys in relationships .. or is this indicative of something I should really be worried about? To my knowledge, he has stopped doing this but I still worry about it.

That will never be normal in any relationship of mine.

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Originally Posted by cecilia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So my question is whether what he calls "playful" flirting normal for guys in relationships .. or is this indicative of something I should really be worried about? To my knowledge, he has stopped doing this but I still worry about it.

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I don't think the flirting alone is worth worrying about, because you can be pretty sure that it's a result of insecurity.

However, you may want to reconsider whether or not you're willing to be with someone that insecure. It could, possibly, be a symptom of a bigger, underlying cause.

You think sending "I miss you's" is innocent flirting? :S I don't, not at all.

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Originally Posted by doppelmakemelol [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't think the flirting alone is worth worrying about, because you can be pretty sure that it's a result of insecurity.

However, you may want to reconsider whether or not you're willing to be with someone that insecure. It could, possibly, be a symptom of a bigger, underlying cause.

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I'm his "first real" girlfriend so he played the whole "I didn't know it was inappropriate" card. I REALLY considered breaking up with him & ignored him for days but he's trying to convince me that he changed and would never do that to me. I want to believe him but maybe I'm the insecure one because I can't bring myself to do that.

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Originally Posted by girl68 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You think sending "I miss you's" is innocent flirting? :S I don't, not at all.

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A little over the top? :(

It's completely normal for a shallow phucking coward to seek the attention and admiration of his female peers because the
kind that you provide for him just isn't good enough. Even worse is that you seem to be internalizing these feelings and instead
of facing them: by telling him (probably because you can't be an adult and tell him, you have to sneak around like a psycho to check up on him)
Then it's clear YOU are the one with the problem, insecurity and lack of self confidence you should have.

Jealousy, expectations and lack of trust (and communication) are what causes relationships to fail: Exhibit A: yours.
How many other relationships have failed before this one? See the pattern?

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Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's completely normal for a shallow phucking coward to seek the attention and admiration of his female peers because the
kind that you provide for him just isn't good enough. Even worse is that you seem to be internalizing these feelings and instead
of facing them: by telling him (probably because you can't be an adult and tell him, you have to sneak around like a psycho to check up on him)
Then it's clear YOU are the one with the problem, insecurity and lack of self confidence you should have.

Jealousy, expectations and lack of trust (and communication) are what causes relationships to fail: Exhibit A: yours.
How many other relationships have failed before this one? See the pattern?

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Lack of communication? Internalizing these feelings? You think I haven't told him how I feel? I told him about my lack of trust towards him, that I have looked through his texts, that I can't get his words out of my mind. He knows everything I feel. If i were to show him this thread, there would be nothing new to him. In fact, he has heard about this multiple times because I ALWAYS worry about it & I TELL him. Sure I ignored him for a few days, but that was so I can sort out my own feelings & what I wanted to do.

What I want to know is whether this is actually normal for men because he seems convinced it is.

I myself do innocent casual flirting. Meaning that if I'm in the store and a pretty young lady flirts with me while I'm at the register, or helps me find an item, I flirt back... lightly, and then I go home. It's a mild ego boost. Nothing your BF is doing is like that. I wouldn't tolerate it.

There is no such thing as playful flirting. What you are seeing going on is not good. But obviously you will not just get out of the relationship so no need for me to say, "You should get out of the relationship." I was once a cheater and these are all signs.
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