Please help its eating me up inside :(

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04-12-04, 12:11 AM
schueys_girl

Please help its eating me up inside :(

Hey guys this is kinda related to my other post which i put in the dumping forum, but i feel i should post this one here. To sum up: boyfriend finished with me suddenly in February. Had no contact and then he came after me in July saying he regretted it and still loved me. So I have given it a go again. He really is the perfect boyfriend, very loving and caring and thoughtful.

My problem is as I said in the other post, i am just so scared of him finishing me again. i know i need to let go of the past and enjoy my time with him but I really dont know how to. I dont know where all this lack of confidence has come from but I hate it when he goes out with his friends (even tho I dont tell him so) and I know he should go out with his friends and it shouldnt be an issue, but it just is! I know he wouldnt actually cheat on me or anything I just dont know where this insane jealousy has come its just the thought of other girls LOOKING at him! Which is so silly I know!

I never ever used to have such issues, i didnt have anything like this when I was with him before, I mean for some of our relationship last time I was away at university and he came up to me at weekends so I didnt even see him in the week. But now all of a sudden for some reason I have this STUPID idea that if i dont see him for a day he wont come back to me. And if i dont hear from him for a while he doesnt love me anymore. The stupid thing is i know how irrational and silly this is I just dont know how to stop feeling this way.

The reason im writing this now is because ive been being silly all day, worrying because he hasnt rung me from work (which i know he cant really do because he is so busy and doesnt even have a lunch break) so how silly is that?! and worrying because he is going the pub 2nite with his friends because I am working. This is all so silly i just wanted all of your excellent advice because this isnt like me at all i want some self confidence back and i want to be able to stop worrying because it really is destroying me

Thanks guys, hope your all ok -x-
04-12-04, 03:48 AM
misombra

hi.

you are messing it all up. you have this idea in your mind that he's going to break up with you again and you are thinking fatalistically, meaning, you are going to cause him to want to break up with you because of your silly thoughts and behavior. you are thinking and preparing yourself for the worst and it will happen if you keep doing it.

choice: break up with him, stay with him and make him and yourself miserable, or forget about what is going to happen. he may or may not break up with you but you're together now. nothing lasts forever. it's like thinking about death. you worry and worry so much about something that is inevitable. it's silly.

what is the worst that can happen. he'll dump you again, you'll move on. you cannot control what he does.
04-12-04, 06:43 AM
King Zarathu

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

hi.

you are messing it all up. you have this idea in your mind that he's going to break up with you again and you are thinking fatalistically, meaning, you are going to cause him to want to break up with you because of your silly thoughts and behavior. you are thinking and preparing yourself for the worst and it will happen if you keep doing it.

choice: break up with him, stay with him and make him and yourself miserable, or forget about what is going to happen. he may or may not break up with you but you're together now. nothing lasts forever. it's like thinking about death. you worry and worry so much about something that is inevitable. it's silly.

what is the worst that can happen. he'll dump you again, you'll move on. you cannot control what he does.

True true. I agree

This is the reason for which I do not date ex's.. they're your ex for a reason, to teach you something. When you're done with them, you're done learning the lesson--and you move on