In a complicated situation...
Hi all, new to the forums and to dating forums in general but I'm in need of advice. Back in October I met a girl where I work and we hit it off really well. I'm 25 and she's 21. Within a few days we had told each other we liked each other and set up our first date. We had fun and continued seeing each other frequently. She told me she had 3 children, and an ex that wasn't totally out of her life yet at that time. I liked her alot by this time and so learning this didn't bother me. Things moved forward between us and we started adding some hugging and kissing. She had told me once that she had a dream of being part of our family and really liked how it felt. I even told her once that I loved her. But then just as suddenly as things started getting serious she got very distant. The kisses stopped, it became very hard to talk to her on the phone or by text. We still dated, she would still hug me, but that was all. She then told me that her ex had begged her to let him visit for the holiday so he could be with his son. She let him, and by the time Christmas day came she was telling me she was seriously considering going back to him. We had a long discussion, during which she told me that she had gotten distant because she found herself falling for me and it scared her. The next day she texted me and told me she wanted to stay with me and had told the ex to go back home. Right after this the friend she was living with had to move and so she came to live with me.
After that things started warming up again. She told the ex she was done with him and the pain he caused for her, she was telling people I was her boyfriend and everything. I was kissing her again and even told her again that I loved her. But now its back to being distant. In other words, it seems like every time things get to a certain point she backs off. When we talked she says she's just not ready for a relationship right now. She says she wants to get back on her feet in a place of her own and get her kids back on their feet. We still go out, but there's no kissing or anything only hugging and we don't refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Her ex abused her physically, sexually, and emotionally and she's told me that she was sexually abused multiple times as a child by various family members. She was in foster care since the age of 3. Given everything I've said, should I be concerned that she's not wanting a relationship right now? Maybe she really does just need me to be patient with her for a bit? I'm pretty sure there's no other guy or anything. She's told me I have nothing to worry about because she's not looking. She's also said that she still very much likes me alot and sees me as the one she wants to be with when she's ready. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
