GF doesn't like texting me in between meetings & no response - hates waiting
Ok so it all started last thursday morning. We've been going out for 3 1/2 months love at first sight :3 (both 19) The text i got was bit emotionless than usual, and the two days up to that her response times were really slow like 10+hours. So i replied the thurs one in evening. No reply, waited til Friday evening asked if she was ok. No reply. I can't tell you how frustrated i was and i didn't sleep cuz i was worried about her 'condition'. So I phoned her on Sat night and left voicemail. She got txtd to me, in sort of 'forced' tone how r you? and saying that she is fine. She also said that she doesn't like valentine's day and won't be celebrating it cuz she has no money, but she still wants to see me on monday. She didn't really apologize for her lateness and i told her how i was worried about her.
Later on this text is confuses me - She said she didn't reply because she hated waiting in between times to see me in person and that it was pointless for her to wait by the phone for my response. (Over this and last week ive seen her once and she stayed over each time cuz i told her i was busy and workin in weekends. Seen her last sunday night til monday evening) She said that she was in the bad mood zone in the last two days and admitted being selfish. The texts we send up til thurs are just ordinary saying how things goes and fun teasing, and expressing how much we miss each other.
Background info: She sufffered/(still i reckon) from depression and once in a while there are these nihilistic social withdrawal phases she says, ive only seen it once. Has had history of cutting her self and having suicidal thoughts as a teen. She does have some trust issues as her heart was broken, and that im her first 'true' love. Also recently her cousin has been texting her detailing his attempted suicide so i dunno if something has happened that may have triggered?
So i just in complete uncertainty whether it was just a mood thing/geniune dislike of waiting/or an incident has triggered something. She says she is fine and no worries. I am very insecure if she is going to breakup with me because she is my first also and i care for her so much that i thought the she stopped talking me because of something i may have done badly or not, or she stopped loving me. And the fact that she expressed her dislike of waiting and texting in between is not a good signal for me, cuz she has never complained - but she has complained about my slow response (1-3hrs sometimes) Im also afraid that if things were fine with me and her, but my insecurity and concern for her was shown that she will find me less attractive - being needy.
Im dreading to see what will happen tomorrow/today: Valentine's day, or how i should act or behave towards her. In some ways i am a bit angry that she did to me, but i keep in mind that it could be a phase thing. Ive got a dinner prepared for her tonight and i don't want to be eating alone :( if it does i know i will personally take all the blame for the cause of the breakup.
Anybody been in a similar situation or can give advice how i should deal with this matter? Any suggestions would be considered, and quick responses are much appreciated! This matter is just blowing in my mind and been making up all sorts in my head which is driving me nuts. :(
