ex cheated on me but i still miss her.

let me give you some background information. i am now 21, i had dated this girl back when we were in highschool, i had a crush on her since gr nine, and we started going out halfway through gr 11, we dated for almost a year. while we were dating, i felt that we had a very strong connection, physically and spritually, she understood m and i understood her, that why things felt so good, while we were going out i always put her before myself, beacuse i just wanted to make her happy when it came to her i was selfless. i always wanted to give her the things she didnt have. i wanted to be her provider and caregiver. while we were going out i did have a drug problem, i used special k smoked weed, and drank alchole on a regual basis. although i never brought that part of me around her, i never wanted her to see that side of me although she did happen to see me use ever so often but she didnt seem to mind. in the first semster of gr12 i got expelled from school. while i was gone from school she started talking to 1 of my good friends about me, i guess you could say he was her shoulder to cry on whil i was not there, 1 day we got into a fight and i told her we should just be friends, and she quickly agreed. the very next day though i told her i was being rash in what i said and that i still wanted to be with her, she told me she needed some time for her self to think and figure our what she wanted, so i said ok. 3 days passed and i decided to call her because i was missing her she told me to come by and we would talk, when i did get there i told her that i loved her and this was the first time i had ever told her that, she had also said it back, i told her that no matter what i would be there for her and i left. a couple days later i decided i would suprise her and come see her. when i got there 1 of my good friends was there at her apartment and it turns out that she had started talking to him when i got kicked out of school and she like him, she told me she wanted to get to know him better, ad all my friend could say to me was that he loved me like a brother but he has a crush on my girl for a long time and wanted to get to nkw her better, i left confused and pissed off. i gave her space thinking maybe it would give her time to clear her head on what she really wanted and it turnded out she wanted ot be with him. and now they are together and have been together for over 2years. i really miss her, she was the only person who truly just understood me without even trying, when it ended we tried to be friends but she began to distance herself, and eventualy just stopped talking to me all together. i feel like i was just a ghost in her life, like i never een exsisted to her at all, i feel like i wasnt even good enough to be a memory to her, like she never knew me at all... like im a stranger to her. i know right now she is happy with her life and she does not care about me, but all i ever wanted was to truly at least just be friend with her, and i still do, is there any advice on how i can make this happen?

Please answer honestly: Why do you want to be friends with her? Don't just say "She's neat and we had a connection." Other than her personality, why do you want to be friends?

You can't be a friend to her because you are not over her.

Work on your self esteem. I don't hear you saying anywhere that you're angry with your friend who supposedly loved you like a brother but took the first opportunity to steal your girlfriend. And she didn't make it difficult for him! You were gone for a few days, and he was able to sweet talk her into his life?

You say you wanted to be her provider and caregiver. You were her knight in shining armor, and now she doesn't need you anymore. Being the "knight" is a way to boost your ego, so again I think you need to work on feeling better about yourself. You're still missing someone who left two years ago instead of getting on with your life. You can't be friends with someone you still have feelings for.