Great BF, Trouble Communicating
Soo I will just start out by saying this is my first healthy relationship and I feel really good about it at time, but at other times I feel like it's soo hard to communicate with him effectively. We have been together almost a year now, started living together pretty soon (6 months) but it has made us stronger. It was hard at first, monetary issues and just issues that come up in relationships I think are a little more stressed when you live with your significant other because you have to work them out then and their or be uncomfortable in your own home. This is also the first time either of us has moved in w a bf/gf.
Anyways things have been good for awhile..till this damn Valentine's Day. It was our first Valentine's while being together, last year we were still in that awkward stage where we didn't even sit on the same couch when he came over to watch a movie(haha it was awesome!). Needless to say I was pretty excited, as was he. He was going to surprise me on taking me somewhere. He is silly though, he's only had one other gf other than me (he's 23 I'm 25) and that was in high school, so he thought he could just call when he got out of work and make the reservations. Missing the dinner is not what bothered me. What bothered me is prob that I was expecting so much and I feel that I got nothing. I feel that days like Valentine's Day are days you are supposed to tell the people you love how much they mean to you. I gave him a card and spilled my feelings in 4 or 5 sentences telling him how much I appreciated every time he'd been there for me and how glad I was to have someone like him in my life. He sent me flowers, a bear, chocolate, and a balloon and asked me to take a picture of it when I told him I got it because he hadn't even seen the one he picked out. I probably spent more time picking out the perfect card than he spent ordering the flowers online. And of course all day girls all over facebook are writing about how sweet their bfs are and everything amazing they did for them.
He kept asking what was wrong on Monday as we drove to pick up food, I tried to act fine as possible because I feel like everytime we start to argue he ends up saying "i'm tired of this shit." that just really hurts my feelings and I used to say "if you're tired of it ,leave". Buut i'm soo over that conversation(I guess this is the ugliness of our relationship )Anyways I kept trying to find a way to talk to him about it without pissing him off, so when we got home from work today I said look at all the sweet things he did for her(two of our friends). Of course, this pissed him off and he went off on how I would rather be treated bad the entire year and just get presents one day to make up for it..I told him I can't even talk to him without him being all pissed.
I don't know, he is really good to me all the time, but I feel like I should be able to ask for a little something more on special days. Not presents, just small things are what matter to me. The weird things is he usually does/say really sweet random things for me. But if he would do it on any other day why not on obviously important dates? I almost start to feel guilty, but then again not. I don't want to just give in. I want a solution. I don't know how to talk to him without arguing. I'm over the arguing. Is there something big I'm not seeing?? Help please.
