My friend... uhh, "raped me". What now?
Lo everyone =P I heard of this forum from a friend of mine, so I'll drop by and ask this question he told me you might be able to help me with.
So, I'm 21 years old. I have a friend I've known since i was 4. When I turned 19, I decided to leave home, and live on my own, but of course, that's hard when studying. So, when I heard my friend, who is 5 years older than me, wanted an apartment near my school, I contacted him, and asked if we should bunk together. He is probably the person I trust the most in the world.
Now, 2 years later, something odd happened. We have always been joking around each other, and we know each other very well. I love hentai, so yesterday when he got home from work (He works at a restaurant, awesome cook, but works till like 23:00 every night), he "caught" me reading a hentai on the PC. He took on the non-chalant attitude, and walked straight up beside the PC, and asked if he could join me. I just laughed at him, not really caring if he did. So I continued reading, when he suddenly jerked out his johnson. This time I went a bit "o.o" on him, and about it. Nothing besides that happened, other than him stroking his penis in front of his long-time friend, while reading an erotic manga.
The issue I can't come with an answer to myself, is what happened in the morning. I took a bath like always, when he suddenly decided to "join" me. He got in with me, naked, and touched me. It went a bit overboard, until he suddenly pushed me against the wall, and outright ****ed me. Not only that, he decided to take me in the ass, of all things.
I would have considered that rape, if he hadn't been so ****ing good at it, no pun intended.
I have been with, what, 7 guys? My friend have never heard a word about my lovelife, ever. That's a topic we have never ventured into. But god, I have never had any issues with anal, but his touch and actions made me cum, twice, before he finished up. When he did, he kissed me on the cheek, said he were going to work, and left me there. (Very satisfied, I might add)
So, i'm a tad confused right now. I had honestly never thought it would get this way, but I have slight issues rejecting it. This guy have pretty good looks even if I have never really considered it, he gets well paid, is an amazing cook, I trust him more than anyone, and he definitly doesn't lack in the sexual department either. I just can't quite place the way it all happened. I have never kissed the guy even once, the first cheek kiss ever, was straight after having ANAL-sex. I think I might fear us going in the wrong direction, as I would hate to break my friendship with him. I just can't point out any reasons he would suddenly get an interest in me, or do something like that. He always seemed a bit shy/laid back whenever he was around other girls, so experiencing him like that was quite surprising.
So what do? Ignore it ever happened, tell him off and say it wont ever happen again, call the cops, go friends-with-benefits on him, or let it evolve into a real relationship? Or none of the mentioned? I can't really cope with the "My best and most trusted friend raped me, but I still loved it" - case. It contradicts itself in so many ways I have issues even figuring out exactly what happened ._.
Or perhaps even - Is it my fault, for even bringing him into my apartment? Am I to blame from the very beginning? I might have been terribly blind, I don't know. I don't even know why I enjoyed it so much, to be honest. Sexually deprived maybe ._.