Why do i get emotionally attached to girls so so easily!! :(

Hey,

I'm 21, have only 1 serious relationshiop ex.

Basically, my problem is (cause i don't think it's normal for guys ?), i go on a night out, get quite close to a girl, and then presume we're getting real close, only to find the next day i'm not existent to her anymore.

It's happened about 4/5 times in the last as many months! I can't just have sex with a girl and then leave it, (and i know thats what guys are famous for in their young age!) I always think the next day and just want to get to know the girl better for maybe a more serious thing. But it's never the case.!

So, is this normal, do you guys/girls easily get attached to another person after 1 kiss etc.

It's bugging the hell out of me.

I am exactly the same. It sucks eh!?

I go out and i click with someone and then for a few days after i feel excited about it.. Like we have 'something'.. Then i will realise we dont really. This will only last for a few days usually and then it dies down..

As long as you dont let it get the best of you its not a bad thing. Just dont get too clingy, contact them too much etc.. Play it cool.. You know the deal :)

Maybe you're just barking up the wrong tree? I don't know if many girls go on a night out and mess around with a guy in the hope of a long term relationship. They're probably just out for some fun. Have you tried meeting women elsewhere?

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Originally Posted by Mongoose [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe you're just barking up the wrong tree? I don't know if many girls go on a night out and mess around with a guy in the hope of a long term relationship. They're probably just out for some fun. Have you tried meeting women elsewhere?

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My thoughts exactly. If you're meeting a woman who's interested in sex on the first date, she's not likely to be after a long-term meaningful relationship. Nothing wrong with that, but that's not likely to net you a relationship.

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Originally Posted by Colts [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I can't just have sex with a girl and then leave it, (and i know thats what guys are famous for in their young age!) I always think the next day and just want to get to know the girl better for maybe a more serious thing. But it's never the case.!

So, is this normal, do you guys/girls easily get attached to another person after 1 kiss etc.

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I thought it was the girls that have easier time separating sex and feelings. Personally, I get attached even though I haven't got a kiss and yes, it sucks.

People who get emotionally attached easily are often suffering from an emotional scar from being rejected in the past. It's a confidence issue. It's difficult to cure. You just have to built your confidence slowly through improving other aspects of your life and remind yourself that when relationships don't work out, it's not always your fault and it's simply because you two are not a good match. Relationships often times don't work out for one thing or another, it's very normal. Don't take it personal.

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People who get emotionally attached easily are often suffering from an emotional scar from being rejected in the past. ...

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I'd have thought the opposite. That people who are scarred, would be more cautious. I guess people can either go one of both ways.

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd have thought the opposite. That people who are scarred, would be more cautious. I guess people can either go one of both ways.

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You are right that they are more cautious but when they let their guard down, they get emotionally attached easily to that new love interest and usually it ends with them getting more hurt. The cycle then continues until they built enough confidence and wisdom to break it.

He may well be emotionally scarred.

He may have "loved" the first girl he was with. Happens.

Now he is off to replace her.

I think he is trying to find love so bad that he is mistaking it for lust.

Advice: Stop trying to replace your ex-girlfriend and enjoy life. You are young it will come.

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Originally Posted by Bonfire [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are right that they are more cautious but when they let their guard down, they get emotionally attached easily to that new love interest and usually it ends with them getting more hurt. The cycle then continues until they built enough confidence and wisdom to break it.

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I'm kinda like that. Always cautious to begin with and because of one or two bad experiences. But when my guard does eventually go down, I can get close, but I still never get too close. Because of that, I also find that I'm able to easily detach and if it all starts to go wrong.

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm kinda like that. Always cautious to begin with and because of one or two bad experiences. But when my guard does eventually go down, I can get close, but I still never get too close. Because of that, I also find that I'm able to easily detach and if it all starts to go wrong.

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Unfortunately sometimes when we try to prevent ourselves from getting hurt by not getting too close, we might lose out on the chance to fully experience the deepest feelings of love. It's a trade off but is it worth it? I guess that is a matter of preference. I am like that too. I had been through a couple of painful experiences and have kept my guard up plenty in the past, but I come to realize I have also miss out on experiencing that pure love I once knew. So I let myself get hurt now so that I may experience love once again. Oddly enough I don't get hurt as bad as before, I am able to realize the pain of a broken heart does go away. And I will find love again that is better than before. So with this two thoughts, I can let my guard down more easily now and my past experience has taught me to make better choices.

I agree with most things already said.

You're trying so hard to get a gf anyone will do. Which is why you think you have something with them but you really don't.

You are likely meeting the wrong type of girls.

How about YOU move slower. Don't have so much physical contact with the girls until you've built a rapport.

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Originally Posted by Anturo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He may well be emotionally scarred.

He may have "loved" the first girl he was with. Happens.

Now he is off to replace her.

I think he is trying to find love so bad that he is mistaking it for lust.

Advice: Stop trying to replace your ex-girlfriend and enjoy life. You are young it will come.

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You know, i read this, and i do have to agree (as the OP) - I wouldn't say i'm still in love with my EX, id like to think im over her? but not quite exactly sure what being over someone is.
If my EX came back to me now, i'd defo turn me head elsewhere and not take her!..

Yet, i admit, i miss not having a girl to call, a girl to watch tele with, wake up in the morning with, i miss the simple things. I got so used to having my EX about, she was my best friend aswell, i dropped alot of stuff for her.

But i'm just not sure if im trying to "replace" her as such, i just want someone.
is it leading me to the wrong emotions towards other girls?

I suspect you know the answer to this question.
You get attached so easily because you are naive.

Can you tell me what you think love is?
How do you view the process in which a relationship is built upon?