It's not worth it.

During the summer I started working at my seasonal job that I have been at for two years now. Two years ago I met a girl, she was a student from france. We employ many foreign people at my seasonal job. I basically manage the place while the owners enjoy the surrounding area. Anyway, we didn't really get the chance to get know each other and it basically stopped there. My boss laughed at the whole situation telling me I should have gotten up there sooner, that I would have had a better chance. I agreed with him and told him theres always next year. Then he said, that is why he will hire from out of the country again, that it would be incentive for me to come back. I laughed and basically told him see ya next year. Will this summer I went back and sure enough he told me that in July there will be an Hungarian girl working there. I just laughed a blew it off. Well, July came and sure enough she showed up, and I must say it was love at first sight. A couple of weeks went by and during that time her and I went on many walks, launch and dinner outings. She refused to call them dates. During that time I also had a lot of other "colleagues" try and spoil what we had. Telling me I didn't have a chance and that she had said she wouldn't date anyone that she worked with blah, blah, blah. Well we ended up dating and falling in love with each other. She was the first to say the L word. Well the time came when she had to go back, so I went to Denver with her and we spent the last 24 hours enjoying each other. When she left, I was devastated. I couldn't wait for her to call, and when she did she told me how much she loved and missed me and planned on growing old together. To me, that was exactly what I wanted to hear. I planned a surprize trip to go see her, she was constantly asking me when am I coming, how much longer. I wanted to surprize her so I never gave her a set date. Then about a week before I was about leave to go see her, she calls and tells me she isn't sure that "this" can work. I told her it can and it will work, we just have to be patient. I cancelled my trip which wasn't easy, and after I few more phone calls our relationship was over. I don't e-mail as much and I definitely don't call, and when I do e-mail her I don't say the things I used to even though I still feel the same for her. When ever she e-mails me she always writes how much she misses and loves me, and that right there confuses the hell out of me. I still hold back though and whenever I write to her I never tell her how much I miss her and still love her. I mean I wanted to marry this woman. The only conclusion that I've come up with is that it's not worth it. I think I would have rather never met this girl, then to go through the hurt I'm feeling now.

Sorry for this pointless long post. :tough:

It's more meaningful than my milk post. ;)

yea ive never seen a long distance relationship work. i cant help you there. its too hard and too expensive.

I was in a long distance relationship for 5 months and it worked fine coz we loved each other so much but after that he dumped me and said he didn't love me anymore even though the way he acts is totally opposite to what he says he feels. If you really care about this girl then tell her how you feel then ask if you could visit chances are she will agree then you can go see her and sort it all out. But if you do decide to end the relationship then that's fine just make sure you don't care about her so much that it will make you even more unhappy than what you are.

long distance relationship are totally hard. it was hard for me when i was away from my bf for 2 weeks yes i know its just too weeks but when you are used to talkin 4 or 5 times a day and seein each other every few days it was really hard. Good luck to you and the future i hope you find someone that you truly love

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ibby

During the summer I started working at my seasonal job that I have been at for two years now. Two years ago I met a girl, she was a student from france. We employ many foreign people at my seasonal job. I basically manage the place while the owners enjoy the surrounding area. Anyway, we didn't really get the chance to get know each other and it basically stopped there. My boss laughed at the whole situation telling me I should have gotten up there sooner, that I would have had a better chance. I agreed with him and told him theres always next year. Then he said, that is why he will hire from out of the country again, that it would be incentive for me to come back. I laughed and basically told him see ya next year. Will this summer I went back and sure enough he told me that in July there will be an Hungarian girl working there. I just laughed a blew it off. Well, July came and sure enough she showed up, and I must say it was love at first sight. A couple of weeks went by and during that time her and I went on many walks, launch and dinner outings. She refused to call them dates. During that time I also had a lot of other "colleagues" try and spoil what we had. Telling me I didn't have a chance and that she had said she wouldn't date anyone that she worked with blah, blah, blah. Well we ended up dating and falling in love with each other. She was the first to say the L word. Well the time came when she had to go back, so I went to Denver with her and we spent the last 24 hours enjoying each other. When she left, I was devastated. I couldn't wait for her to call, and when she did she told me how much she loved and missed me and planned on growing old together. To me, that was exactly what I wanted to hear. I planned a surprize trip to go see her, she was constantly asking me when am I coming, how much longer. I wanted to surprize her so I never gave her a set date. Then about a week before I was about leave to go see her, she calls and tells me she isn't sure that "this" can work. I told her it can and it will work, we just have to be patient. I cancelled my trip which wasn't easy, and after I few more phone calls our relationship was over. I don't e-mail as much and I definitely don't call, and when I do e-mail her I don't say the things I used to even though I still feel the same for her. When ever she e-mails me she always writes how much she misses and loves me, and that right there confuses the hell out of me. I still hold back though and whenever I write to her I never tell her how much I miss her and still love her. I mean I wanted to marry this woman. The only conclusion that I've come up with is that it's not worth it. I think I would have rather never met this girl, then to go through the hurt I'm feeling now.

Sorry for this pointless long post. :tough:

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If you think it's not worth it, then perhaps it isn't. Long term relationships involve a lot of sacrifice, devotion, effort, etc., moreso than a normal relationship. It can be done, regardless of what others may say. My fiance and I have been apart for about a year, and we're still going strong.